Area 136

A while ago I had a little rant over the stupid job titles places think up. As you may remember the one that got me going was “Customer Experience Manager” whatever one of those is. But today in the metro there is an advert for the Army with a job title of “Combat Human Resource Specialist” Basically you will be working in payroll and HR. And be trained as a soldier. Not once does it say anything about getting shot at while checking through expenses dockets, or getting blown up by a roadside bomb while figuring out bonuses. Basically you will need to be a bulletproof accountant. It actually says “Become a Combat HR Administrator and take home more than just the contents of the stationery cupboard” Like shrapnel splinters, bullet wounds and post traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes working in an office in London does not seem so bad.

Like painting the opposing walls of a bedroom in different colours....

Just fucking shoot me would you?

Never again.

That is all.

Well no, not really.

You see, I have just had to do one of those on-line Jungian personality test things that tells you what your workplace personality is.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

18 statements about yourself and how you “think” you would react in certain situations, with four possible endings each. You mark them 4 to 1 – 4 being given to the statement that is most like you and one being the least like you.

Well the thing is, as ever – none of them are particularly “like” me.

This is work we are talking about. The place where for a lot of us the main thought is “how to I get to the end of the day as quickly as possible, what is the path of least resistance and how do I get through all of this without dropping myself in any unnecessary shit so I come out looking all good and efficient at the end”

Statements like “When talking to others I feel I am likely to come across as – Over sensitive and too concerned with others feelings, Pragmatic and direct, Snobbish and aloof, Concerned primarily with the here and now”

Oh come on!

So I did it anyway.

At least it will keep the lecturer on the course on Friday happy….

I have not had the urge to blog much over the past few days and frankly you should consider yourself lucky, my jaded and blog weary 0.5 of a reader.

Most of my existence seems to have been full of not sleeping enough, aching, painting, aching even more, fighting with a CV that is apparently so out of touch with modern trends it may as well be wearing flares and platform soles (much re doing to be done) and worrying that I am not painting enough or quick enough.

Also spending the spare bits of time at the weekends with Sarah.

This weekend she was over on the Saturday and I cooked her lunch at Rancho Collapso and as she was a bit tired from a late night girly sleepover party on Friday night, we vegetated on the sofa and watched Lord of the Rings while we awaited the return of “Uncle and Aunty” (Ships and QM) from Edinburgh.

When they arrived QM and I bundled Sarah into the car and took a couple of boxes of plates and pans over to the flat where Sarah got to see her bubble gum pink/ Matt black bedroom for the first time in person. She was delighted thankfully. And on the way over we stopped off in the forest to see if we could find the last blackberries of summer (not that many) and then watched the sun set on the hill at High Beech.

As yesterday was a beauty we returned to said hill for a picnic and then after digesting the noms we went down into the forest so Sarah could have a bug hunt – she had got a magnifying pot from the shop there in which you can catch bugs and see them in horrible detail!

So anyway…..

Not been doing much blog worthy stuff.

But seeing as certain people have been off to very interesting foreign parts and have not as yet deigned to entertain us with their adventures I feel justified in droning on, if only to make sure I don’t fall off the radar.

So there.

In a hot Jacuzzi.

Had another six hours of decorating today and the aches are back but in a different place.

Yesterday my right hip and thigh felt like they had been hit with bricks, today the legs are OK but my back feels like it has rocks in it.

Yes there was another attack of "slasher madness" in the bathroom as I had to clean the bubble gum pink paint out of the roller (it needed a third coat)

And I put two coats of "Stone" paint on two walls of my bedroom, finishing off putting the final white coat on the walls of the hall in between coats.

"Stone" is an odd colour....I turned round and looked at the wall I had just painted while doing the second one and it looked exactly like a freshly plastered wall. It is sort of a neutral sand colour, which should go well with the other two walls in Moroccan Red. Well if it doesn't I will have to move...

God I sound like that bloke with the big cuffs and floppy hair off the telly!

So anyway....

I am off to soak in the Jacuzzle with a glass of wine, then slob out on the sofa in my dressing gown (how I manage to get an entire sofa in my dressing gown is a secret I will take to my grave) eat stuff that is no good for me and watch a dvd.

So there.

In other news,

Ships and QM are in Edinburgh so I have the house to myself. See! we are not joined at the hip.

I look down at my hands, they are staining the water in the sink red.

Red is splashed everywhere..

Spattered on the white tiles, staining the taps, pooling on the sink back...

What have I done!

I am literally red handed..

Oh god help me.

I am NEVER painting two walls "Bubble Gum pink" then washing the brushes in a white sink ever again.

Until tomorrow probably....

From what you have said, you seem to feel the same way about your birthday as I do about Christmas...

But I hope you have some fun today and something makes you smile and feel happy.

You are a good person and deserve it.

Happy Birthday.

XXXX

So...

I finally stopped fucking about and smoking and drinking coffee and got on with the CV.

Basically I have to put it into a different format as requested by the bloke that runs our course on Fridays.

Simple cut and paste.

WRONG!

Could not figure out how to get the format right being a tad unfamiliar with the more intricate details of our word processing package.

See my CV is just headings and Bullet points sort of thing, but Mr course man wants there to be the address in the centre top, then a heading on the left hand side saying "Profile" then two columns of three points, two short sentences in each.

Then another little heading on the left saying Key skills, then ten points in two columns of five....

Then the job history comes in and just go the good old Job title on the left - time period on the right, brief bit of blurb below and so on for each one.

Fine.

Except it took a lot of swearing and going into the help section to even get the fucker to allow me to write in one section of the page in a single page width column and then two smaller columns then back again!

Mucho out loud swearing and threatening dark and terrible things in the direction of the computers CPU.

I know this sort of stuff would be easy for some of you - but I bet there was a time when you didn't know how to do it! And this is mine.

Well it isn't now because I figured it out eventually.

To check it I just wrote a load of total rubbish in under the profile and key skills bit, just to check the columns were wrapping round correctly.

Of course when I try to insert the proper info tomorrow it will need to be re-jigged because it wont fit or something.

AND I am going to have trouble coming up with ten key skills even by using my old CV. And I forgotten what sort of stuff he wants in the profile part.

I know, I will just do one that is so rubbish he will just have to do it for me. Well that is what consultants are getting paid for right?

I HATE doing CV's!

I will start the CV tinkerage!

After a ciggie.

and this coffee..

Pity the net is being so rubbish from here today though.

Keep getting kicked out.

Must be a sign.......

"Doing nothing is only really properly enjoyable if you have something you should be doing"

I should be tinkering with my CV.

I need it for the course thing on Monday.

But I have just got into the office and am enjoying my first coffee of the day so.......

I am doing this instead.

Also looking forward to watching one of the three DVD's I picked up in the sale after my meeting...

Procrastinatory gland on full then.

Because instead of telling you about my afternoon painting two of the walls in Sarahs room with black paint, the "interesting" neighbour from upstairs standing in the communal garden and trying to buy a CD of music off of the woman who lives in the flat next to her upstairs and what the new people who were moving in and looking at me slapping this black paint around were obviously thinking ("is he not a bit old to be a Goth").....I am actually happier playing 9 ball pool on Mini clips....

Meh.

Moments of potential – I am in one now.

Like a lot of hopeful and miss-guided fools I purchased a ticket for the Euromillions lottery draw at the weekend. I have not yet checked my numbers.

I know for a fact that the odds are so highly stacked against me that I can’t possibly have one. But like that bloke that was cruel to his cat – until I open the box and look I can’t really be sure.

But also it is fun to delay the inevitable moment of disappointment and make all those stupid plans….

Pay off the mortgage on the flat in one go.

Tell work that I am taking redundancy and never darken their doors again.

Sit down with a financial advisor and set up accounts so my money is safe and making more money, ensuring mine and Sarahs financial safety for the rest of our lives.

The buying of the flat overlooking the Thames so nights out in the big city never have to end just because the trains have stopped.

All the foreign travel I would do and the holiday homes I would buy.

All the vintage guitars that would hang on the walls of the above-mentioned luxury flat on the river….

All silly dreams.

Now to check the numbers and confirm what I already know.

Ho hum.

It is that most un-scottish of scots mens birthday today.

I say un-scottish as I don't think he likes irnbru or hagis and when we used to stand outside having a ciggie, I would be there happily with out my coat and he would be saying he was freezing. How un-scots is that!

Still,

Have a good day fella.

Happy Birthday.

I AM RIGHT!

I am ALWAYS right.

You know how this goes....

Now bugger off and get on with stuff...

mainbrace's and keels and mizzens and stuff...

AND BRING ME RUM!

What day it is tomorrow.....

hint...

cast your naked steaming eyes over the header of this here badly written and seldom read blog.....

Ah...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARR!

Oh yes.

But I will be otherwise engaged so you will have to all "talk" to yourselves.....

Ahem(ar)

Saw a job title today on a website. It was a vacancy for the position of

"Customer Experience Manager"

WHAT THE FUCK IS ONE OF THOSE!

Oh, you mean customer relations?

WELL JUST SAY THAT THEN!

Jeezus!

I have discovered that standing with one foot halfway up a step ladder and one foot in the sink as you lean to one side with your spine twisted is not good for your back and leg muscles.

In fact you end up feeling like someone has set about the top of your inner thighs with a little hammer and there is also someone has been standing on your back for an hour in big hob nailed boots.

Oh the joys of painting round kitchen cabinets children! It never starts!

Also trying to get old raw plugs out of plasterboard walls is like playing tug of war with a pitbull...

But! squeezing filler into the holes left after much straining is strangely satisfying....

And the smell of "Mr Muscle sink and drain clearer" gives you a headache and makes your brain go funny. Of course I opened the windows.....eventually.

Also discovered that there are THREE shops in the highroad that sell almost everything for a new home owner - bleaches, tools, storage, soaps, kitchen implements, soft furnishings, Painting and decorating supplies, pet food, dried pasta, suitcases....and more stuff - all crammed into little shops.

And due to there being a college just over the road the place is full of students every lunch time and afternoon acting like knobbers.

So.

I think I may need to arks if a canaza nice hot jacuzzi laters to ease all da aches and pains in ma bodies innit.

Sorry, starting to talk like those students....

That is apparently the percentage of people on my friends list that I have met in person at least once.

Well I am trusting google on this one as my arithmatic skills are non existant. (and thanks to soy for telling me that google can do this sort of stuff for you)EDIT - entered wrong figures, new percentage in header....oops.

It is actually 29 bloggers out of the list of 87.

There are a couple of bloggers from years back that I met who don't blog anymore, but let's not overcomplicate this already dull post with all that nonsesne.

If you have the mental capacity (or a calculator...duh)you could share with us the percentage of your friends list you have met.

Or not.

I am just so damn bored!

and now you are.

Keith Floyd died today.

Don't know why but a worn out body is probably a prime suspect on the cause front.

I used to love watching him cook.

His shows were full of passion and fun and booze.

And so was he for a lot of the time.

He seemed like someone who enjoyed life.

And watching him cook somewhere sunny, bossing his camera man around ("Back up to me now dear boy!") and sometimes battling against wind and poor weather in a crowd of bemused locals made me want to learn to cook myself.

So I raise a glass to Keith.

Thanks dude.

Mental.

You can purchase, if you so wish - a toaster with a little pad on top of it for writing messages. These messages are then toasted into the bread. Why?

Given that I am reduced to sitting here reading about the history of tube stations that I use regularly on Wikipedia for entertainment?

Has it come to this?

Meh.

Ah, here we are in the merry month of September, a month I have become a bit wary of over the past six or so years.

It is nothing to do with summer coming to an end or the days getting noticeably shorter. In fact I don’t know what it is to do with except that if something major is going to kick off in my life, it normally chooses September to do it in.

Not every September has been bad, but I tend to keep a close eye on things about this time of year – just trying to see any spike filled pits before I plunge into them. At least if you know you are dropping down towards some spiky bits you can cover the wedding veg and try to land between the points…. sorry – taking that analogy a bit far.

So things that I will be attempting not to do this month.

Starting or ending any relationships.

Making any new friends.

Volunteering for any new responsibilities.

Making any major changes in my life.

Making any huge errors of judgement. This one will be hard because I do tend to do that quite a lot all year.

Well…

I may just not go out at all and hide under the duvet.

I know it is of no relevance to anyone out there, but I have just realised who one of the counter staff in the canteen here at Weird Inc reminds me of.

Dwayne Dibbley!

Same teeth, same voice...but he is not constantly clutching a thermos.

You know how annoying it is when you see someone and can't place why they seem familiar, almost like you have met them before but can't remember. Well that is that solved - I have only met him before virtualy via Red Dwarf.

Now move along, I have coffee to drink and inspiration to seek.

Sorry this is late, been out on a fossil hunt/kite flying expedition with Sarah down on the coast and just got back.

Hope the birthday is going fantastically for you and that you are happy.

And maybe see you soon. (then you can pin me to the wall again for old times sake)

x

I hope today that you don't feel broken (save that for tomorrow morning..ahem)

I hope today that you will not feel in the least bit down.

And of course I know for sure you will be acting like an Angel on your Birthday.

Enjoy a fantastic day if you can.

XXX

With Farcebook and decorating.

The both make me ache, one in the head and one in the back and arms regions.

Spent from about two till six in the flat and got the two bedroom ceilings painted and the hallway ceiling done. That sort of means alot to me, I have to try to fit in decorating in the afternoons/evenings or at weekends - but weekends have been booked up with trips and stuff for months in advance and the ones with out trips in have Sarah in...so it has and will be difficult. Of course some of the trip weekends included Sarah. Still, I have no leave left and I need to get painting and stuff.

Also have been trying to see the point of facebook a bit more. I REALLY hate all that "your friend has sent you a see how you would look as a bogey picture - to see it click here" so you do, then they say "you have to send bogey picture to at least five millon people first, or you could skip if you are lucky enough to be able to see the skip this part button....but you can't you tosser because we have decided to hide it. HAH!"

So,

I am having some Cava to celebrate the return of the Moff to warmer climes.

And (on top of the Martini I have just had) that will help to ease the stiffness in my back and arms from the decoratingage.....

Why is getting a wireless router delivered when someone is actually at home to sign for it so fucking difficult!

Couriers are bastards basically. My Internet supplier is useless at answering phones and I am now a tad wound up!

AAAAARGGH!

Thank you, that is all.

For the first time in years I found myself in a country with "Squigglies" for currency, the exchange rate of which completely confusticated my very poor mental arithmetic skills.

They use the “Zloty” and you get about 4 of them to the pound. So cigarettes are about £2 a packet. Joy for the only smoker in a group of four as he could bring back 800 ciggies!

The food was rich and wonderful. I had a leg of Goose one night, “Poland and neighbours” on a plate another (basically a big dish of various specialities of the region), lard – yes it was a traditional starter apparently, and blennies (sort of pancake) with sour cream and caviar as a starter…not much in the way of roughage actually, which could explain why I pleaded for QM to make one of her great lentil soups when we got home (everything is moving fine now thanks for asking….)

Bars are sneaky over there. Although there is a higher concentration of them in the old Jewish quarter, it was a bit run down and a little two far to stagger back from late at night so we only went there during the day. We did most of our drinking in the Old town area. Quite a lot of them are hidden down little always between shops, with another bar sometimes reached via a door half way down and a flight of stairs going up (or sometimes down)

Our favourite was the Wodka, a small bar with loads of flavoured Vodkas and a good atmosphere. We spent an evening there one night and between four of us sampled 14 large shots of Vodka, with three mineral waters for the lightweight and it came to roughly £30.

As you know we saw the parade of Sausage dogs and the Square full of plastic Stoats.

And some very very drunk Fins singing Boney M songs in a bar and NOT getting arrested…and we had been led to believe that the Polish police took a very dim view of public drunkenness.

Well that is a brief sketch of our time in Krakow. For “Brief sketch” read “Can’t be bothered to go into detail as I has a lazy on me.”

If you want depth wait for Shipscook or Queene Mab to get all expansive….

I have a coffee to finish drinking.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Meh.

I hate being back at work.

Found this guy in a square in Krakow on our way to the Royal Castle...

He is a hollow plastic Stoat....and he had a few friends with him...

And just like with the Sausage dog festival, no one could tell us why they did it. But they did tell us you could buy a hollow plastic stoat to take home with you if you wanted.

Bloody nutters.

One Sunday a year, the good citizens of Krakow (well a lot of them anyway) take a normal looking dog like this:

And dress them up in ridiculous costumes like the ones below, then parade them into the centre of town. I have no idea why they do it, but am bloody glad they do and that I was there to see it.

Bloody mentalists!

(be warned. Very cute pictures from krakow to follow in a couple of hours)

Something shiny and brown, round and freshly picked up from the garden.

Can you guess what it is?

No, I have not gone all "Special needs" and started picking up cat poo, it is a Conker.

Now for some reason, conkers mean "It's the end of summer"

Mind you, the weather has been saying that for a while....

One thing I want to know is; why the hell do conkers look so damn tasty!

Nice and brown and nutty....

Look, I am not weird. I know they are not edible.

Unlike the totally fantastic Chestnut! God I love those soooo much. Ships roasts some at Xmas most years and god they are lovely....

BUGGER! I really want Chestnuts now.

Damn Conkers!

I have recently had to perform one of the most annoying and frustrating tasks that life can set before a single man.

Arriving back here at Rancho Collapso I saw that the sheets, pillow cases and duvet cover for my bed were out on the line. As they were dry I decided to put my bed back together sooner rather than later.

I wish I had waited till later, then I could have bleated like a man and got Queene Mab to help me.

What is it with pillow cases! I find it easier to put a condom on in the dark with one hand than to try and get those annoying soft stuffed bastards back in the slip covers! It is like trying to stuff a sock with fog!

And for some reason one of the pillows is just a leeetle to big for one of the covers and puts up more of a fight than the others! Like getting an elephant to wear a polo neck that was....

Then the duvet cover.

What happens to the laws of physics when you try to get the duvet back into those bastards!

The "top left" corner of the duvet in my right hand, duvet cover laying on the bed wide open (the dirty hussy) and the top left corner of the duvet right there in plain sight, but once you insert the duvet your hand travels through a worm hole and emerges in some far of universe and the corner you are aiming for vanishes! and its no use running your free hand along the seem because you only ever find the top right corner as the left one just does not exist anymore!

And don't any of you smart arses start with the old turning the duvet cover inside out bollocks or mentioning any sort of clever system you have developed because basically you will be admitting to not having a life on a public blog.

After a good swear all was done and my blood pressure resumed its more normal pressure level of bubbling under.

I think I will just sleep under a pile of old Metro news papers at the flat.....

This weekends destination is

“in a valley at the foot of the Carpathian Mountains”

Eeep.

Just checking up on Krakow on the old interweb and that phrase lept out at me.

Best buy some garlic when I get there just to be sure.

Edit: another key phrase that has lept out at me is "The old town area has more bars per square metre than anywhere else in the world"

Bring it on.

I went off bright and early this morning to the Delivery Office near Rancho Collapso to pick up the package containing my luverly wireless router for the flat.

I arrive at work, rip open the bubble envelope and have a butchers.

The first worrying thing I notice is that in the set up information it confidently informs me that my username and password are on the packing note and I will need both of these to set it all up. But I had already looked at the packing note, yes there is a user name but the password space is blank.

Another thing is that having paid for the Wireless router outright, when looking at this little box I totally failed to see anything resembling an aerial.

So a call to the customer services department looked like it was in order.

I HATE calling these places so naturally I procrastinate like a good ‘un and squint at blog, drink coffee and pop out into the gale force winds smoke ciggies.

Loins sufficiently girded - I make the call.

Oh the options!….

Press 6, listen to another message, press 2, listen to another message, press 1, listen to classical music, ringing tone, support dude!

When I tell him I have no password he looks at my account – “Oh, the password is blank here too! Never seen that before..”

Oh I do love being “special”

So he gives me a password.

I give him the details of my router and ask if it is wireless

“No, you are on the standard package and..”

“No, I paid for the gold service and the wireless router was purchased outright”

“Oh….(tapity tap tap) yes you have…oh….the wireless router went out on the first, did you not get a delivery note from the Royal Mail to say they had tried to deliver it?”

“Yes, yesterday and this is why have picked up a normal router from the delivery office this morning”

“Well as it went out on the first……(tapity tap tap) it should be there today. Did you leave before the post?”

Arrrrgh!

Yes I did. So I have to go back to the flat this afternoon and see if there is a second package waiting there. But the callers office closes before I get home, so unless I excuse myself early I won’t get it till tomorrow.

If of course they have delivered it.

Good start eh?

These people are also supplying my electricity…..

Thank god I have plenty of candles.

They really are like this, no special lenses or in camera mucking abaht was done.

A little publicised issue in Amsterdam is the many homeless bikes that sleep rough under the bridges...this moving picture was taken just yards from our hotel...

And they do like their bikes over there, well that is the impression I got..

And the old camp "Batman" series is still very popular out there apparently....

And now, for all you cheese lovers...

But zoom in and check the logo...looks like a .....well poo basically.

A bridge, they do alot of these over there...

Also night time seems to be big too...

I have no idea what went on in this place...honest!

Red light means....negotiable affection available all hours....

In the flower market...

No idea about this one....

So there ya go....

In case you don't know who I am....

Loved this pub, one of Queene Mabs favourites...

Had this - a "Headknock" basically a beer and a gin..oh and some black Vanilla flavoured ciggies..

And this place was cool as well...

Where I had this...just for a change.

And this is the oldest bar, name escapes me but it is the one the sailors used to pay their bills in Monkeys...

So, there are some of the establishments that we visited.

Now in general I know what colours I want.

But it is very general.

When I start looking at the variations of all the colours and shades it all gets a bit blokey….

I glaze over and find my self turning into Andy from the little Britain...

(Points randomly at vast shelf of paint) “I want that one!”

“But it is Emerald Green!”

“Yeah I know.”

But I may have to take a trip out tonight to that den of boredom and misery…. no not “Ikea”, “Do it all”.

Mind you, I may have to go to the dreaded “I” word soon as well. Feck.

Or just sit online and buy loads of stuff from Argos and let someone deliver it to me.

Nest building is just alien to me.

I am having an attack of the "blokes"

Amsterdam was fun, as I thought it would be.

What did we do? Well in no particular order:

Went and looked round Rembrandts house, I had no idea he went bankrupt – maybe he should have tried painting AND decorating.

Had a fantastic “Rice table” meal, about 20 dishes of varying spice levels in a very nice little restaurant.

Walked through the Red light district a couple of times, but only in the hours of daylight. Mmm, red velvet curtains – how plush…oh hallo! Morning miss, shouldn’t you be wearing more than that? No don’t tap on the window, I won’t be coming in no matter how much you smile.

Some of the girls were very pretty. Some of them used to be men. Some of them look like ex Gorilla wranglers – big, strong, unhappy and ugly looking.

Saw many stag/hen parties wander by.

Got slightly passively stoned maybe.

Was served beer in a bar where all the girls working there wore very short tartan mini skirts and low cut tops. Shameful really…..ahem.

Saw a hidden church. For a while being a Catholic was banned in Amsterdam so a guy built himself a church in his attic. The place can fit about 50 people and has all the bling you associate with the Catholic Church. It even has a pipe organ, but how it could have stayed secret with that thing blaring away every Sunday is good question.

Went into the oldest wooden framed structure in Amsterdam, dating from the 1500’s and yes, it is a pub. Apparently sailors used to pay for there stay with Monkeys. Yes, monkeys. That would explain the stuffed Monkeys dotted about. “Some cheap bastard has left a macaque in the tip jar!” You can imagine the problems.

Discovered that I like “Head knocks” which is basically a traditional way of getting drunk – one large beer of choice and a chilled shot of Gin on the side. Very nice and rather effective.

I also discovered that I love “Bitter ballen” and “Old Cheese” They are both traditional bar snacks, the first is deep fried balls of meat and potato with breadcrumbs on the outside (the inside stays quite soft and they are very rich tasting) – the second is basically just mature cheese, both dishes are perfect to accompany a few “head knocks”

Wondered why, when there is a cycle lane to my right, a road to my left that the cyclists are also using, is the narrow strip of pavement that I can walk down without getting run over by said cyclists full of trees, bollards and other “street furniture” meaning I had to frequently walk in the cycle lanes or roads? My hatred of city cyclists has not been cured.

Ate “Raw sausage” – another traditional bar snack. DON’T BE SMUTTY! I can see you giggling at the back.

Did the canal boat tour thing, hoping off here and there to see stuff. The residents of Amsterdam seem to like to go out on their boats and launches when the sun comes out and drive about drinking. They also don’t have to pass any form of test if their boat is under a certain size and power. Our canal boat driver, after narrowly avoiding sinking some twats in a rowboat, said “They all know nothing about the river…..so…”

So there you go.

Photos may follow later, but I suspect QM will get there first.

Lots of you have done this while I have been away, so I thought I’d nick it and have a go.

Are you Male or Female?
Boogeyman.

Describe yourself:
Dogface boy.

How do you feel?
Hammered.

Describe where you currently live:
Angel City.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Going to Brazil

Your favourite form of transportation?
Bomber.

Your best friend is?
Bad Woman.

What’s the weather like?
Another Perfect Day

Favourite time of day?
Nite Side.

If your life was a TV, show, what would it be called?
One more fucking time.

What is life to you?
Civil War.

Your fear?
Sex and Death.