Area 136

I have decided what the softest fluffiest thing I have ever touched is.

(Calm down! No smut here!)

The softest fluffiest thing you can touch is that patch of fur just behind the base of the ears on either a longhaired cat or dog,

God I have far too much time on my hands………

What do Fish eat on Fridays?

Last night QM, Ships and I had a very nice Italian meal in a place called Unico (which makes it sound like some on-line novelty goods emporium) near to where they live.

As is her wont, QM ordered an extra portion of chips because she believes that Italian restaurant chips are among the finest in the world.

The ones that arrived were indeed wondrous – golden brown and crisp on the outside with a perfect texture within.

This made me think of the little fish and chip restaurant that we sometimes go to in Walton on the Naze. It is a typical seaside chip shop, with fishing nets hanging in the window, net floats and pictures of sea views on the walls. The fish there is very well cooked but their chips let the dishes down – they are brown and a bit sad looking.

So I mentioned that if we had the Chips from Unico and the fish from Walton we would have the perfect fish and chips.

Now that got me thinking. What would be your favourite “composite meal”?

Choose something from one restaurant that would be great with a dish from another, go nuts.

For example your favourite main dish from one place with your favourite side order or starter from another – you can mix countries if you want, why not have an Indian starter dish with a Chinese main course? Or a number of different dishes in one style of cooking but from different restaurants?

Well it is nearly lunchtime and it may help to stoke your appetites.

Or not.

(I would love to be able to say I wrote this, but it was sent to me by a friend)

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

Both subsequently died in the ambulance and the PCT set up an enquiry,
which came to the following conclusions:

1. The 50 mile journey to the nearest casualty department was in the
couples' best interests.

2. The fact that there was no local bed in which Jack could mend his
head was unfortunate but no targets had been breached and he had been
offered a choice.

3. The lack of vinegar and brown paper was not material to the man's
death as NICE had not yet decided whether it was cost-effective and in
any case both the brown paper nurse and the vinegar nurse were away on
courses.

4. The GP was most to blame and should be suspended and referred to
the GMC as he had:

a. Not reported Jack and Jill's lack of water to social services;

b. Failed to recognise that anyone going UP the hill to fetch a pail
of water must be seriously demented;

c. Had not involved the Falls Coordinator which resulted in Jill
tumbling after Jack.

Ladies and Gents, when you get on a tube and have to stand up, take your bags/backpacks off and hold them down in front of you or put them on the floor. There is more space down there because we are narrower at the leg end – that is why coffins are that shape after all.

I am really fed up with thinking I have got lucky only to find out it is some womans bag that is rubbing against my arse, or getting whacked in the back by some blokes parachute sized back pack - very annoying (and why they give you such looks when you violently elbow it away while smiling manically at them I will never know)

And don’t get me started on people who put their bags on the seat next to them when it is busy!

A text arrives.

“Im stuk in traffic, can u let tl kno plz. Its raff”

Do I text back and say “Actually you have the wrong number. And fuck off with your text speak you utter knob”

Do I bollocks.

Sorry Raff dear boy, not in a Good Samaritan mood today.

When you get to where ever it is tl is waiting, you can try the “But I texted to explain!” bit.

And try leaving earlier next time.

Right.

All this being too bored to blog has got to stop.

It is odd, but as a number (but not all) of my favourite bloggers have stopped blogging regularly I seem to have run out of steam on the posting front as well.

Which is odd because I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment.

Maybe all the other events in my life have been more to the forefront of what I laughingly call “my brain”

So today I am going to attempt at least Six posts.

Oh shut up! You don’t HAVE to read them.

Yes, just like the old days the majority of them will be short and to the pointless but I have decided that I need the challenge.

Maybe it will re light my enthusiasm for spouting cobblers all over the interwebnet thingamey.

You have been warned.

Also like manor from heaven I have just received a text that is (very) marginally interesting.