Area 136

Mira takes the Open University big question approach – “Whom do you consider as ‘Ideal models’, which men and women (of past or present) do you appreciate and admire most? Why?”

Which I suspect clocks in as three questions, but never mind. No one person is an ideal model for anything. Great athletes may have great dedication and fitness but be absolute evil in a relationship. Great statesmen could be raging alcoholics behind closed doors, and every one of us – no matter how well thought of or kind to fluffy bunnies we may be – has something not very admirable in our makeup.

Idontknowwhy – asked “If you had to be a woman for the day, and you could be anyone, who would you be?”

You are all expecting me to say Angelina/Nigella or something and say I would just stay in videoing myself doing naughty things for review by the male me the day after BUT..

I think it would be good to spend the day as “a woman” just someone in a similar job to me in London, just doing the normal getting on with life thing. Just to see what difference genders makes to it and maybe gain an insight or two. Oh and it would be someone NOT on their period. Trust me I am bad tempered and emotional enough as it is without all that going on.

Rampers – “If you woke up to find everyone else frozen for the day, meaning that you could do ANYTHING you wanted without fear of repercussion for a day, what would you do?”

Well lets just say this – The day after, Vintage and Rare Guitars would wonder where their stock had gone, as would Jerry’s off licence in Soho. The Queen would be furiously demanding her footmen to find out who shaved all her Corgis. Many politicians would be waking up with mystery black eyes, in bed with other politicians. National newspapers would be finding lots of very interesting photos arriving in the post, and Nigella Lawson would be wondering where all her knickers had gone. Including the ones she went to sleep in…..

Miza-t “Who’s your favourite Guitarist? (and you can only choose one)”

NOT FAIR!

Paul Gilbert can play anything and has a sense of humour in his music, but the most influential guitarist on me was Brian Robertson…so I will say him.

Shipscook – “Do you know where I left my sunglasses?”

Hooked into Machinegun betties cleavage.

(Sorry, I tend to go on a bit. Love the sound of my own typing..)

That erudite professional freelance journalist Rowtheboat asked the searching question: “When did you start masturbating?” (Visions of a hand shooting up at a white house press conference and Mr Obama saying “Yes, Ms The Boat from the times?…When did I start WHAT!”)

Anyway, Tempted as I am to say “the first time you walked in the room” I will have to say probably the minute I had the hand-eye coordination sorted enough to latch onto the little fella.

Chyna Doll asked, “Who was your first celebrity crush?”

I had to think about this one, and the answer was disturbing – Marc Bolan. Well he was bloody confusing to a young pre pubescent boy. He could play guitar well and was pretty. I am fine now honest.

Landers asked “Which blogger do you hope also does this meme?”

Tough one actually. It should be someone I don’t know very well or someone I want to put on the spot…but I will just say YOU landers baby. Because I think you would not hide much.

Malakeas asked “How old where you when you lost your virginity you wee scamp?”

18. There ya go, simple. I won’t bore you with the story about the other couple in the bed at the time or the fact that a friend of ours was standing on a spinning revolving arm chair, holding his lighter over his head saying “Look at me – I’m a lighthouse”. I am amazed I could get it up under those circumstances.

Mattk asked “What’s the worst shag you’ve ever had?” which leads me to think a career as a free lance journalist is right up his street.

It was a girl from Queensbury, looked tall and willowy dressed, a bag of bones undressed. And she wore too much make up. You know sometimes when you are with someone it all goes so right? You move together flowingly, you touch each other right, it all just works – well this didn’t on any level. Awkward and totally without any fire passion or spark. No I didn’t marry her.

Sweeeeeety mon asked “Favourite holiday destination?”

I need to see a lot more of the world before making that statement. But I used to go to Cyprus a lot and stay at the same hotel each time. Loved it – nothing fancy, just a nice family run 2 star hotel with some nice pools and lots of good restaurants very close.

Rithompson – “Did you ever get detention at school?”

I had to think about that one……….No. Did get the cane once for something very minor.

Kendersrule – “Your biggest regret?”

Probably something I haven’t done. Like saying yes to running away to India with a gorgeous girl, or trying to kiss certain people…or learning to drive.

Miss-Anthropy came up with “Is there a one that got away?”

Obviously.

Milly came up with the very profound “Blogger you most wanna do”

Well it is like this. On a purely physical aesthetic level, yes – there are a number of female bloggers that I would love to “do”. But if/when I meet these bloggers they are just friends who I will treat with respect as individuals…even though I may want to hump them until one of us starts bleeding…

Trintrin – “Ever woken up in a strange place after a good old piss up?”

Yes – Edinburgh.

Part two up soon.