Area 136

Last time we were in Edinburgh I tried to explain this sketch to Moff, so thought I would show it too her.

(the reason the man made Cheesoid is because he was a top chef who lost his ability to smell after being hit in the nose during a mugging. The robot is supposed to smell his ingredients for him....)

Altogether now, Awwwwwww.

Walking to the station tonight on my way home from the house, I was watching the sunset develop more and more deep reds as I walked, when I saw her.

The thinnest of silver crescents up to the right of the setting sun, just visible but there again - looking down at me.

I took it as a good sign.

Sitting in a stuffy office in Victoria with no air con, trying to stay awake listening to a consultant drone on.

And no Internet.

Well I suppose we could all do with a break.

Just for a laugh I thought I would have a look on the old internet to see what the going rate is for a flat in this new area.

I typed in the postcode but not the number of rooms I was looking for in the property, so the first thing that came up was a twelve bedroom Georgian town house…..

When I climbed back onto my chair and checked the price again, I narrowed it down to three or less bedrooms and hit search again.

A nice three bedroom flat for £1,195,000……why am I on the carpet again?

Two beds must be cheaper….£2,400,000……FUCK…..nice furniture though…bit modern looking….Oh here is a much more affordable two bed flat, a mere £1,795,000.

Who said it never hurts to look.

I feel so poor!

Well sort of.

I am sitting reading the metro and out of the corner of my eye I notice the girl two seats down is looking in my direction and has been for a while.

I glance over and see that she is not looking at me, but past me along the carriage with a worried look on her face – her eyes wide and her hand up to her open mouth.

Thinking that my I-pod was drowning out a possible entertaining commuter argument or rant from a Londoner of “no fixed mental agenda” I turned the pod off and looked in the direction of her shocked gaze.

I could hear nothing or see any argument kicking off, just some bored commuters strap hanging like bored sides of beef.

I look back at the girl and see she is still staring so I follow the direction of her gaze and spot what is worrying her so.

Up near the central light fitting is a big, fat, hairy BEE!

I look back at her and smile thinking “silly thing”

But then it hits me. I know why she is scared! It is because she doesn’t know what sort of Bee it is!

After all it could be the worst kind of Bee, the deadly killer Bee…it could be a

Hepatitis Bee!

But on the other hand, looking on the bright side – it could have easily been that most friendly and benevolent of Bees, the one know well by pagans everywhere –

The Blessed Bee!

But the young lady was not taking any chances – she got up and moved down to the doors and stood looking nervously at the un-classified flying Bee object until she could make her escape at her stop.

What a coward.

I would have protected her.

Ahem.