Area 136

And Mrs F has just been taking photos of the Cathedral.... again, because when we go through durham she always takes a photo of the Cathedral. Because they CHANGE or summink.

Before this she was threatening to kill me if I did not stop swearing at my laptop, and trying to drug me with shipscooks hypertension meds....Well for some reason my lappy decided to get rid of its anti virus protection and refused to let me update it because that would have been TOO FUCKING EASY WOULDN'T IT YOU FUCKFACE CUNT OF A COMPUTER....what, whaddaya mean everyone is looking at me?

Best have some wine then....

I am the model travelling companion.

If Dr Johnston had gone around the country with me he would have got bugger all done what with having to calm me down and stop me punching inanimate objects...

And in other recent news - There is no fog on the Tyne, because I am looking at it right now.

Well I am not well ya see.

Eh? Oh right, sorry - thought that would be enough of an explanation.

No well this cold thing whatever it is is giving me aches and a dodgy gut and so I had to go and use the toilets in St Pancras station, well they are actually kept clean which is why we were in St Pancras and not over the road at Kings Cross.

So I am sitting on the throne, and these toilets have the same sort of air/vacuum flush thing they have on airplanes....and motion sensor flushes.....

So I am sitting there letting it all hang out, or fall out, or whatever and WHOOSH! off goes the flush!

Having heard the urban myth about the woman who had her insides sucked out by a plane toilet because her rear end had made an airtight seal around the seat I was glad my arse is too skinny to do an airtight job, as the high pressure air exchange caused the wind to whistle by my butt cheeks....

Nightmare visions of my meat and two veg being dragged off of my body not materialising, I finished the job and got the hell out of dodge.

Mind you, a bit of vacuum therapy may have made the old fella a bit bigger......

Yep, that is where I am as I type this, somewhere outside London on a train bound for Edinburgh.

Yes, my first ever post from a train! I bet your impressed!

No?

Oh well.

As we left London our train was running along with the sunrise on one side and the moon shining brightly on the other...

Only four or so hours to go. Don't expect too many updates as the connection on this train is very slow.

We also are avoiding the horrors of railway food by bringing with us a couple of bags of M&S goodies so we are completely drought and famine resistant.

Speaking of M&S, I saw that Devla Kerwan is to be the xmas Dr Who baddie, and there will be Cybermen! Goody!

"These aren't just Cybermen, theses Cybermen have been up my C*nt" to paraphrase the true meaning of those voice overs she used to do.........