Area 136

I am listening to the "new" Thin Lizzy live album that was recorded in 1975 or something, and drinking some wine.

Then I will listen to the new Queen + Paul Rodgers album "The Cosmos Rocks" (shite name for an album) and drinking more wine.

And then we will see how I feel.

Me that is.

You may remember that a couple of months ago I told you of what I hear in my head depending on whether or not the skilfully flicked cigarette end I have aimed at the gutter drain goes in or not? (Han Solo saying “great shot kid, that was one in a million” if it goes in or Luke saying“It’s no good! It impacted on the surface” if it does not.)

But here is something else I should probably not share but will.

Whenever I go into one of the toilet cubicles here at Weird inc, I am always a little concerned to find the lid down. Not just the seat, but the lid as well. Now as ladies are always telling us chaps, we NEVER put the seat down. C’mon ladies – it ain’t made of lead, do you want us to piss all over it or move it your bloody selves eh! But anyway, seeing the lid down worries me because I have a quick mental vision of what I fear I may find when I lift it up.

And no, believe it or not, I am not worried about finding a brace of “Brown Octobers” snuggled in a nest of soggy toilet paper – that would be par for the course.

No, I always have a quick mental image of a totally clean bowl, with a severed head stuck in it.

I know, mad as a goose on stilts.

Click to see why this made me laugh as I can never get the damn things to fit!

more animals

In the Metro this morning, on page 7 in fact, there were two pictures of a group of eight women. In one picture they are all “done up” in big eye makeup and big hair, in the other they appear to be wearing no makeup – but probably are wearing almost as much as in the first picture – and you are asked which look you prefer.

The point of the article is to publicise a new series by that annoying Wok Ban bloke or whatever he is called.

But anyway, looking at the pictures I decided that I personally preferred the one where the women looked like they had no makeup on. They do look more natural and far less “I’m Amy bloody Winehouse me! Gerrus a fuckin’ drink or I will puke on yer shoes!” My preference for the “natural” picture has nothing to do with the fact that they appear to be naked either, before you start.

Mind you, there is a time and a place for big eye makeup, and it can look good. I have been lucky to have been out with some women who did (in my opinion) look good with no makeup on at all, so when they wore a little they looked really good.

So, which look do you prefer?

“While we’re here can we just pop into this shoe shop?”

“Mum and Dad would love to meet you”

“What are you thinking?”

“We need to talk”

“Can you hold my handbag for a minute?”