So out I went at lunchtime in search of death by coffee, and staggered down to the Café Nero in Brewer Street Soho. And I did stagger – I am hopeless when I am this tired. It is a very nice if sticky day out there and the walk was very pleasant.

So I get my mahoosive black coffee and sit in my favourite place in the open window in the sun, and watch the world go by. Some of the world was very beautiful, some rather strange.

For example the “person” who was directly opposite me across the street.

They had on their head a big floppy ladies straw hat with a chiffon scarf around it and two big artificial (grubby) white roses on the brim. This made the brim dip down at the front and hide most of the persons face. They also had a white cardigan, which had a large multicoloured Pokka dot pattern on it. Same with the skirt and the knee-high socks. The tatty trainers let the ensemble down a little. They were in the process of putting down their leopard print bag and attempting to remove something from another larger leopard print bag when I noticed them, and the object that they removed from said holdall was a leopard print collapsible camping chair, which they then proceeded to sit on and sell copies of the Big Issue. When seated, I could see that this person had one of those air filter mask things cyclists like to wear hanging round their neck and each of the cheeks of the face below the droopy hat sported a round ring of rouge, and the lips of said face were thickly coated in red lipstick.

And yes, as you may have already guessed, this was a 50-year-old man before me.

Just when you think you’re too tired to come up with something to blog, London gives you some material.

Also I would like to say thank you to the woman in the cream sleeveless dress who walked along in front of me down Brewer Street on my way back to the office. The dress fitted your fantastic bum so well it was a joy to walk behind you, and you were walking in perfect time to “the Immigrant Song” on my MP3, which was nice.

Now excuse me while I wait for the coffee rush to wear off…………..

XX(