Blue skies and fluffy clouds.

Spent the from about 10 o'clock till One down at the little pool. Sarah was in like a shot despite the water being what could best described as "refreshing"

A family turned up to use the pool after about an hour and a half with the most whiney 6 year old boy in the history of crying everytime one of his bigger brothers got him even slightly wet.

So after listening to him whine like a high speed jet fighter we came back here for lunch.

This afternoon we are of to a nice beach (Trewith strand) and then Tintagel to look at "King Arthurs castle" yeah OK, if you say so.

We are trying to make the most of the good weather because we are probably in for some rain.

But while it is lasting, it is luverleeeee!

Now excuse me, ships is about to serve dinner.

Yep, live and direct from our pine lined very nice lodge in Lanteglos holiday park (which IS in Cornwall despite the welshness of the name) It's MEEEEE!

Our accommodation is is great, the girl on the reception has a fantastic cleavage, the lappy is pumping out the sisters of mercy, Sarah has been round downstairs and up making sure all the nice little lamps are plugged in and working and has helped Ships put the provisions in the fridge.

A long trip starting at about six thirty this morning was broken with stops for 1 breakfast, 2 Sto Nenge, 3 Lunch 4 Launceston Castle - then here.

Photos will be blogged later by the wonders of free wifi, and now I am off with my cold beer to play a ball based type game of activity with Sarah outside.

After I show her the blue flowers I just discovered over the road.

Tomorrow Sarah, S&F and me are off to the wilds of Cornwall for a week. Oh yes, the land of pasties and ruff cider beckons. There will also be wind swept cliff tops! Yippee!

Ahem.

We start rather early tomorrow and on our way will be stopping off at Sto Nenge, so Sarah can have a gander at the big stones for the first time. Actually it will be the first time I will have been there instead of just driving past it and looking. Having said that we probably will not even be able to get into the car park but we will try.

And when we get there you will not be rid of us as I am taking the lappy because we have wifi in our “lodge” – Posh name for wooden hut that sleeps four – and even a dvd player, I know! They have wifi and electrickery to run DVD’s in Cornwall! Who would have thought it?

I will also of course have my mobile with me but will only be using that in the safety of my room. I don’t want to use it when out and about in case I get accused of witchcraft.

That I forgot to mention (due to being on planet "eh?" yesterday)

"Eating Soy could cause impotence"

So, I'd best stick with a hug at the next blog meet then eh.

That is where I am right now.

Right out the other side and into awake and mad territory.

Almost dropped off on the train here but never quite made it. Less that three hours sleep and I am now awake and wibbling.

Normally I would have tried to have a kip when I got here to rancho collapso but instead I manically mucked about with my Vox tonelab amp thingy making lots of big rocky thick guitar sounds and arsing around playing heavy rock blues solos at silly volumes. The cats were not happy.

So there you have it.

I iz nuts and in need of sleep but although I am operating on one third of my brain, I can't sleep.

BUGGER!

So out I went at lunchtime in search of death by coffee, and staggered down to the Café Nero in Brewer Street Soho. And I did stagger – I am hopeless when I am this tired. It is a very nice if sticky day out there and the walk was very pleasant.

So I get my mahoosive black coffee and sit in my favourite place in the open window in the sun, and watch the world go by. Some of the world was very beautiful, some rather strange.

For example the “person” who was directly opposite me across the street.

They had on their head a big floppy ladies straw hat with a chiffon scarf around it and two big artificial (grubby) white roses on the brim. This made the brim dip down at the front and hide most of the persons face. They also had a white cardigan, which had a large multicoloured Pokka dot pattern on it. Same with the skirt and the knee-high socks. The tatty trainers let the ensemble down a little. They were in the process of putting down their leopard print bag and attempting to remove something from another larger leopard print bag when I noticed them, and the object that they removed from said holdall was a leopard print collapsible camping chair, which they then proceeded to sit on and sell copies of the Big Issue. When seated, I could see that this person had one of those air filter mask things cyclists like to wear hanging round their neck and each of the cheeks of the face below the droopy hat sported a round ring of rouge, and the lips of said face were thickly coated in red lipstick.

And yes, as you may have already guessed, this was a 50-year-old man before me.

Just when you think you’re too tired to come up with something to blog, London gives you some material.

Also I would like to say thank you to the woman in the cream sleeveless dress who walked along in front of me down Brewer Street on my way back to the office. The dress fitted your fantastic bum so well it was a joy to walk behind you, and you were walking in perfect time to “the Immigrant Song” on my MP3, which was nice.

Now excuse me while I wait for the coffee rush to wear off…………..

Ships just asked if I wanted to pop over to the British Museum to have a gander at the Exhibition on the emperor Hadrian, as the Museum is just up the road from here.

Now interested as I am, after last nights lack of sleepybyes I have a horrid vision of me falling face first through a display case or tripping and falling down stairs – I get rather clumsy when I am tired.

And the British Museum always seems to be a degree or two hotter inside than the ambient temperature outside. This would not be good.

So I had to turn the offer down, but I will probably pop over and have a look at some point before they pack it up.

I like the past, interesting things happened there.

Is approximately the amount of sleep I had last night.

I say approximately as it was 03.00 the last time I looked at my watch before going to sleep. So it must have taken me a bit of time to actually do the falling asleep bit, then I got up at 05.45.

So it is probably less than that by a bit.

Still, here I am at work – in just before 08.00 like the dedicated worker I am.

Today will be “interesting”

This day.....

Just......

This work bit of it at least.........

JUST TAKE IT AWAY AND BEAT IT WITH BASEBALL BATS TILL IT TURNS TO JELLY! FUCKER THAT IT IS!

ahem.

I iz fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine now.

My MP3 headphones died last night on the way home, so on my way in this morning I had the “pleasure” of having to listen to my fellow commuters.

GOD! People are dull and ignorant! They say such stupid things, and just keep on saying them.

I can understand why individuals go on seemingly unprovoked killing sprees after a morning like that.

But the new headphones I have just got are surprisingly three times as loud as the old ones!

So now the even duller office work speak (which contains just as much ignorance and stupidity) will be drowned out, and I can sit here in a little world of my own, tap tap tapping away.

London is hot, sticky and a bit grey right now. For once I decided to go for a walk at lunchtime that did not terminate after mere minutes in a pub. I wandered through Soho and down to Piccadilly Circus, strolled through Leicester Square and through a bit of Chinatown, up Shaftsbury Avenue and then back to the office.

I love the city. I love the guitar shops, the queues of office workers outside takeaways, or the bunches of office girls sitting in the sun in the squares. I even don’t mind the tourists slowly walking about and getting in the way. Well not today I don’t. I just like to see what there is to see out there, the Police discussing matters of reality with street people of no fixed mental agenda who had – up to the start of the conversation – been providing some colourful “street theatre”, or the girls in the doorways of “gentlemans clubs” in Soho wearing tops that push everything up and out. The furtive look on the faces of people exiting the “toy shops” and “special interest” DVD stores. The very loud conversations between Chinese waitresses conducted over the heads of slightly worried looking diners.

I am so glad I work in London sometimes.

That Diva of the Dirty Laugh, the luverly Subville is having a birthday today.

And why not?

Hope you have a fantastic day and that laugh of yours gets used alot!

xxxx

In the metro today I saw a story that will horrify many of you animal loving types.

Somewhere in Peru, they have a festival celebrating the wonders of Guinea Pigs – they dress them up in cute little outfits with crowns and things and generally have a good time

The catering is interesting as well. Roasted and fried Guinea Pig is available in great profusion. Although one of the vendors decided that this year they would cut off the guins head and claws to make it less recognisable to foreign visitors and cause less upset. Like the stall next door wouldn’t give the game away.

I know some of you Guinea fanciers will be going “ooh how could they!” but let me ask you this – What if they were chickens? Chickens being dressed up at a festival where roast chicken was being served? Hmmm. don’t sound so bad now does it.
And you vegetarians can shut up right now! I am not talking to you.

Personally, I would try a bit of roast GP just to see what it tasted like.

Well the way this credit crunch malarkey is going we may all need to widen our potential diet base.

Warning! pent up outburst of utter rubbish imminent!

Not been able to get on here all day, and am slightly nuts.

Was it xmas on Sunday or summink?

After watching another good Gran Prix I watched ALL of Dr No. From the very begining to the very end - something that just never happens with Bond films on the telly. And after that I discovered that another channel was showing The Great Escape. I sat there trying to remember what I had unwrapped that morning and if I got everything I asked for. Damn confusing.

Friday night/Saturday morning held a very unexpected and slightly saddening phone call. The world is an odd place sometimes.

After spending A nice Friday evening with Sarah and S&F, Mrs F and I took Sarah to high beech, as mentioned before. Then on Saturday night, free of parental responsiblilties I got rather drunk and continued the liquid silliness on Sunday. Hmmmmm. Mature adult. Anyone know one?

Felt fine and dandy this morning though.

Wayne is leaving me!

Yep, fave barman in mollys is going to be away from work for about 10 weeks. No more flirting in da pub after next monday. Meh.

A topless tramp (male) was sitting outside our office earlier eating take away sushi, tramps in London got KLASS ya know.

And I have spent the whole day busy doing stuff and not knowing why the hell I am doing it. Pointlessness rules round here, but at least I looked busy.

Well, this has been a fine and dandy ramble of wossname so I will cease and disist now.

Some people in this wonderful and lovely world of ours like to go on about things being "Natural" and "Not Natural". Fine, OK.

Some of these people claim that homosexuality is not "Natural" because it does not happen in the animal kingdom. Hmmm.

Well research has shown what a load of old cobblers that is. Same sex couples have been recorded in the wild - two male penguins for example, a pair of male Eagles setting up nest together and even dolphins and wales have been seen having casual gay sex. Although they do get barred from most gay pubs in Soho as they take up too much room in the toilets. Bonobo Monkeys will fuck anything with a pulse regardless of gender or family relations provided it is another Bonobo monkey.

This week I was amazed to see something else that many people claim is not natural being done in the animal kingdom. That wonderful publication "The Fortean Times" had some photos in it of a seal apparently trying to kill a Penguin by laying on it. But no, Scientists observing this scenario on Marion Island of the coast of South Africa report that the Seal was trying to basically, fuck it.

The Scientists watched the adolescent male hump the poor penguin for 45 minutes (Male bloggers, and probably Row, murmur "the football would have started by then" into their pints and female bloggers stare off wistfully into the distance and sigh "Forty five minutes...Mmmmmmmmmmmm")

They think the Seal was a sexually frustrated immature male (NO SHIT SHERLOCKE!)and the Penguin seemed OK after its ordeal.

Mind you, I bet it needs a shit load of counseling.

So, basically the natural world has proved that Welsh males are not as weird as we thought.

I haz sofa.

I iz still hin baffrobe.

I haz da use of mahoosive tv.

I iz gun watch eff won honnit.

I iz gun hav ickle drinkie? mebbe.

I iz happeeee.

As some of you may have seen on Queen Mabes post, we took Sarah to the Forest today. Epping forest in general, High Beech in particular.

No, we were not doing the traditional Essex pass time of burying the body of a "Grass" or "Nonce" after smashing out all the corpses teeth and cutting off all the fingers, I am saving that one for her 16th Birthday. I do have some standards you know.

No we just went to the Victoria for lunch to start with, then off to the Epping forest visitors centre for a quick look before having a wander in the surprising burst of nice weather.

While Sarah and Mrs F were looking at various things, I wandered over to a display featuring a slice through a tree trunk. As most of the stuff in the place is geared towards younger visitors, the text next to this slice of old tree told me all about the fact that trees grow a ring of wood for every year of their life and so on, and that the slice of trunk in front of me had had its rings marked with the dates of local and world events. Oh nice, thought I

the inner rings were dated in the 1800's and much mention was made of kings and queens and wars and elections as you moved your eye outwards and read the little notes. But when I saw the last dated event on this slice of time, something struck me as odd. It was a little event from the late 90's and it pointed to almost the last ring of tree growth and said:

"Lady Diana killed"

Excerusumer me!

"KILLED"

Is this forest administered by conspiracy freaks! Is this some subtle way to slip into young minds the view that the "Peoples arms dealer shagging princess" did not actually make a mistake in her choice of driver, did not actually just die in an ACCIDENT?

this sort of silliness needs to be stopped.

But not in a heavy handed way.

I think we need to nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

After a late one last night and I believe right now I am the only person awake in the house.

Ships and Mrs F are Zedding away in the front room judging by the deep buzzing snores I can hear in the background, and Sarah is asleep in Moffs bed (Moff is back up in Edinburgh) lying there with her arms crossed above her head. Looks uncomfortable to me but she is asleep and looks happy and peaceful.

But maybe just one more ciggie and another glass of wine.

Yus.

I just do OK?

So what wonders do I have to tell you.

Bugger all.

Bollockyshitwank!

But I will just tell you this, as I fall back on the staple of bloggers who have nothing to say so pass on stuff they have read in the media.

ahem.

In this months Fortean Times

Under the heading -

"Crack team arse-about"

"A German pensioner is suing a hospital after she checked in for a leg operation and woke up to find she had been given a new Anus."

And you thought your doctors where bad eh Rampers?

As I am suddenly not being sat next to, and it is midday - I is blogging!

But I have nothing to say, this is purley habitual.

I need help.

I need a pint.

I should need some sleep but don't yet - which is amazing after another late night listening to CD's internetting and drinking wine.

Where did my life go wrong?

Oh yeah, that beach in Mauritius possibly.

I also find myself asking the eternal question "Why the fuck do people insist on bringing small children into the office?" Urrrgh!

In other news, we are taking Sarah for a week in Cornwall the week after next. It was the fist place we ever took her on holiday when she was less than a year old. So to her it will all be new.

Another scintillating post from the blogger who brought you
"My pen has run out"

"the trouble with zippo lighters"

and

"my milk has gone a bit thick"

I thangyaaaw!

Reading a paper on a train is a bit dull sometimes. This morning I could “read” a girl. She was five foot nothing, cute and rockabilly-ish, mop of died black hair, some little diamond stud piercing in her lip, a sleeveless checked shirt showing off her arms and open enough to show off her black lace.

Her left arm was completely covered in tattoos, and they looked really good. Various designs and characters interwoven all the way up. I could not see clearly enough to pick out any particular ones as she was about 10 feet away but they did look good.

She also had a tattoo on her chest, a winged cabinet of some sort (I imagine it was a cover up tat, maybe the original centre piece was a heart?) with the wings swept back along her “neckline” and the cabinet right in her cleavage. This must have been difficult area for the artist to work on as she was quite well blessed in that department; I was wondering how he managed to get the proportions right on those double curves.

I am thinking of a career change,

Well I did go to art college for a bit……….

This not reading or posting blogs from work lark is bloody hard! How do some of you manage!

I am not a shaking heap honest. I can handle my addiction.

Well maybe.

So to help me in the act of doing the catch up thing that I am now trying to do (see, this is me just starting *waves*) I stopped off and got myself three new CD's as it has been far too long since I purchased some new music and I am damn well not downloading any after Deccyboys tails of computers full of Trojan viruses hidden in downloaded songs.

So right now my ears are being given a good going over by the Stone Gods (basically The Darkness without Justin Hawkins) and I must say they are rather good and heavy! Yay for good purchase number one.

I also got "Stop us if you've heard this one before" by The Wildhearts ,which is a covers album.

And I got a third album for myself. By a band. Erm, that's all I'm saying. I can't believe I actually purchased an album by this band BUT I really like the single and the big guitar instrumental track I heard. And they did do one of my favourite soppy songs of all time. Not that I like that sort of thing coz I am a hard rocking animal and I will suck the eyes out of the face of anyone that says I am not. Grrrr!

and such.

Anyway. I also got some wine, so now to do the catching up thing.

Pisces stars were good for a laugh in the Metro this morning. Apparently all us fishes are being very charming and irresistible today. Hmmph! Fat lot of good that is doing me being stuck here in an office.

The woman sat opposite me could not talk any louder if she had a megaphone strapped to her ever-open gob.

And not being able to blog or get time to read them is giving me the hump.

Bah.

I see a long session on the laptop and a bottle of wine ahead of me tonight.

Cocktails IN a jacuzzi

and some damn good food (cooked the the cook of the ship in fact)

And a damn good relax.

If a picture paints a thousand words,

And someone painted a picture of a book,

Would my head explode?

Falling into the category of “bloggers I have met and would love to meet again”, it is the wonderful Sixpences birthday today.

Have a wonderful day, long may you continue to transfix spy satellites.