Is a phrase that Mrs F was not familiar with until I pulled on my speedos and said it's was the male equivalent of "Peanut smuggler" with regards to nipples.

So I pulled on a pair of said budgie smugglers for our afternoon jacuzzi session, and when all was safely tucked and poked in the frankly silly little "gentlemens sausage hammock" I dove in. Now yes, I have been aresing around in there nekkid but only because the jets from the jacuzzi shoot into the pockets of my sensible swimming shorts and inflate them like the Michelin blimp, which does plenty for my reputation but does cause me to bob to the surface somewhat.

So later I am in our room toweling myself off, and as I am bent over letting Mrs F apply some aftersun stuff to my back I hear shipscook say:

"Your arse looks amazingly white you know."

I worry about him sometimes.

Fuck that, now I am worrying about me!