No, it’s a spoonerism not a reference to a flat chested girl. Sheeeesh you people only ever think about sex.

No, I would like to say something to building societies and the Nationwide in particular.

If it says that you open at 09.00 on your website, and it also says 09.00 on your door

FUCKING OPEN AT 09.00 YOU BASTARDS!

Then maybe I wouldn’t have had to fuck about trying to deposit a big chunk of money in the poxy ATM, which fucked up and did not complete the transaction first time (ok, me putting the envelope in the wrong way round, snatching it out and trying to put it back into the now gagging slot and causing the machine to freak may not have helped) and then not given me my card back for a couple of minutes after the second attempt. Maybe now I would be sure of how much money is going to be in my account for use on holiday.

Maybe now I would not be contemplating making voodoo dolls of all your fuckwit useless at time management staff.

Tense? Me?

Nah.
:##