I hope it was the latter.

On my way back to the office through the jolly pearly king strewn streets of jolly old Lahndahn Taahn; I espied a female of the quite attractive persuasion walking towards me. Now it may have been the angle of the sun that did it, but I could not help but notice that she appeared to have three nipples on each of her breasts.

I can only hope this was due to the vagaries of the material construction of the supportive cups, but you never know.

God I find the real world such a strange place.

This morning I was getting myself ready to leave Rancho Collapso and was wandering along the landing.

Mrs F came out of her bedroom and said

“Oh your out of the bathroom! You move so quietly I can’t tell where you are in the house”

At this precise moment I managed to produce a deep and sustained sonorous note on the “Bottom Trumpet” She look at me aghast.

“See! That’s’ why I do that” I said calmly

“The sound tells you where I am, and the smell tells you where I have been. It’s like a baby animal calling out to its mother so she knows it is safe”

“You PIG!” she said rushing in the general direction of away.

There is no pleasing some people.

Meet Gina.

A fabric covered concept car from BMW. Now you may not like the way she looks, but she can change shape!

Which I think is pretty cool.

To see the car strut it's stuff go here -

http://www.classicdriver.com/uk/magazine/3300.asp?id=13808

Sitting in the Central Registry divorce section yesterday, I had to listen to a rather dull conversation between too Barristers Clerks. They were discussing there domestic life in general and I tried to tune them out but bits got through;

“Kitchen refit blah blah kids lovely blah blah step kids at college blah blah nice area with good schools so we want to stay blah blah….”

Then one of them said this and my ears tuned in sharply,

“Yeah we have been married two years now, its’ great. When we met she said – you’ll be settling down soon mate – and I thought yeah yeah, but she was right. I’m happy now ya know, get the odd night out with the lads but it’s good”

Oh.

You.

Twat.

You’re in trouble and you don’t even know it. “She said - you’ll be settling down soon mate”

So obviously she has given it the old “I’ll alter him” – spelt “Aisle Altar Hymn”

RUN you moron!

Two years! Oh yeah your happy right now, but soon it will start to really get on your nerves. She will start telling you a few more things your going to be doing, just spread out over the months and years and pretty soon you will be wondering why you are so unhappy and how come your life is so different. Of course she will be deliriously chuffed that you come when she says “heel!” but you won’t be.

Still, he works for a barrister so sod him!

He already knows his way around the divorce section. Which will come in handy.

It's gone 09.30 - its CONFERENCE CALL TIME!

Yip fucking eeeee.

Time to sit with my headset on with the mic on mute and catch up on blogs.

If I can stay awake.........