Area 136

At last I can break free of this cage of wage slave drudgery and spread my wings on the bright thermals of fee time!

The shackles fall from my limbs and I ascend into the bright light of pure………stuff,

And wossname.

Innit.

What, me?

Pretentious?

Fuck off.

Bored yes, and desperate to be elsewhere, but never pretentious.

Ahem.

In fact it is high time I was elsewhere and so saying I will be so doing.

Or something.

I'm bored.

And so I has been trotting round this here blogity thingey reading blogs that are new to me. It's a good way of wasting time as I lay awake at work.

You gotta do something with your day after all. I don't just stand outside with a ciggie waiting for the next celeb to go by.

Well OK, mainly I do that thing - but as some of you bods on my friends list have gone a bit quiet due to various personal reasons I have to go looking around for distraction.

I haz an resslessness of blog, I HAZ IT!

I still also have a weird habit of slipping into "lolcat" speak.

Obviously.

Meh.

More Celebs are appearing on the street outside.

Wandering off to mollys, I saw a geezer on the other side of the road holding on to his Fedora to stop it blowing of in the light wind.

He had a certain familiarity about him.

Then I realised it was well known Stevie Wonder ripper offer, JK from Jamiroquai (a band name that sends tremours of fear down the spine of any dyslexic I can tell you!)

That is the thing with musos and celebs. No matter how many times you see pictures of them falling out of cabs in the dead of night, once the weather brightens up they come out onto the streets like they are solar powered.

How odd.

Just saw Richard Ayode or however you spell it (the one that plays the extra nerdy one in "The IT crowd")

And guess what?

With his hair in it's natural ragged afro style and with a pair of shades on his face instead of geeky specs, he looks a little like Phil Lynott from Thin Lizzy!

Weird.

A bastard cyclist just ran into the back of my foot. “Oh shut up you tart, so what” I hear you cry.

Well the thing is I WAS IN THE FOURTH FLOOR CORRIDOR OF THE BLOODY OFFICE!

Yep, some young twat turned up to work on a fold up bicycle while I was out front having a ciggie. Due to poor timing he came up in the lift with me with his folded up clown prop and wheeled it down the corridor behind me and still managed to be so blind and selfish that he ran it into the back of my foot.

Llwnt!

No, I don’t think I am being petty at all.

Hmmph!

I read in the Metro this morning that our glorious leaders are discussing whether or not to allow those Segway two wheeled scooter things to be allowed on British roads.

I have seen the Police in Tenerife using these things to glide along the seafronts watching for wrongdoing and they do look very amusing. We also saw a group of people using them to tour the old town part of Stockholm, and laughed heartily into our beer at the sound of them all piling into each other as they tried to negotiate the steep cobbled street next to the bar we were taking a break in.

But letting them loose on the streets of our fair capital?

One bod said “They can go on the roads, pavements and cycle lanes, I don’t see why we should be so far behind the rest of Europe in our thinking”

Well chuckles it’s like this. There are already a group in London who think that any flat surface is theirs and theirs alone. We don’t need arseholes on Segway scooters treating us like scum as well as bloody Cyclists.

Mind you, if both groups start getting in each others way we could have the pleasure of some interesting “street theatre” as Segway riders and cyclists come to blows over who has right of way.

Every cloud and all that……..