Area 136

A boss of a small business has a dilemma. Due to a downturn in his company’s fortunes he has to get rid of a member of his office staff. Normally he would do it on a last in, first out basis but the problem is that he hired Jack and Wendy on the same day.

They both had good work records, are both in their twenties, and neither had taken any significant sick leave.

But it had to be one or the other. So he decides that the last one in on that morning would be the one he had the talk with.

On this morning, Jack was in first. Wendy had been out with a friend partying and came in later looking a little hung over. She dumped her bag and coat at her desk and headed for the water cooler for a drink.

The boss sidled over and started his speech.

“Wendy, this is really difficult, and I don’t know how you are going to react to this, but I have to lay you or Jack off”

“Well” says Wendy in between gulps of water.

“You’re going to have to jack off because I have a bastard of a headache”

I am long sighted. There, I said it. It has never been a problem and in fact I like it – It means I am the first one to spot a distant pub sign, when putting new pickups in a guitar I don’t have to bend over it and get a face full of heat and solder fumes, I can spot a good cleavage at 200 yards and am invaluable at spotting road signs before you miss the turnoff when in a car. When I read books I tend to sit them in my lap, not hold them up in front of my face.

But I have noticed something odd over the past 18 months, and I really should go get an eye test.

The thing is, if I have been sitting reading in, oh just for arguments sake lets say a pub, and I look up and try to focus on something (or more normally. Someone) on the other side of the room not more that 15ft away, my vision is just a touch out of focus. It takes about 30 seconds for it to become clear and sharp.

Then when I look back down to my copy of latex nuns monthly it takes a little while for it to come back into crystal clear focus.

I know when I was young they said "it" would make me go blind, but I rather thought it would be more sudden than this.

I am moist.

But not in a good way……………

Bloody weather.

They are still there, on the rings in my ears and nothing has befallen them or me.

I know yesterdays ball related titles were a cheap shot, smutty and childish – But hey, THAT’S ME!

You don’ like you don’ read hokay.

And a you can tell from the total lack of direction of this post, I have nothing at all to bring you.

Although I am wondering why my colleagues sitting behind me are discussing vampire bats.

And I have just realised something. I have never ever been to Ireland! I mean it’s only over there for gods sake! (Nick stands up and points in a random direction and waves wiggly bony finger about)

But that will all be remedied tomorrow.

Jeez I think I may have to go poke about on you tube to find some stuff to entertain myself with and annoy you with – yes YOU, my faithful 0.5 of a reader.

Or not.

Meh.

I am thinking of changing my blog header picture.

Since cutting my hair short, it seems like misrepresentation or something.

But I do love it and am very grateful to the wondrously talented and temporarily absent AJ for creating it.

But I dunno.

Mind you, I have no idea what to replace it with so it is going nowhere right now.

But what do you think?

Stay or go?