We took Sarah to Chessington world of adventures today, as I said we would.

Yes, it was sunny.

Yes, I now have a red neck and can say "Yeee haw motherfucker!" and "you've got a real purrdy mouth boy" with authority.

When we got there, Sarah insisted we go straight to "The Black Buccaneer" ride. Which is basically a big swing. In the shape of a 30ft pirate ship that you sit in, in rows of five and it swings into the vertical. Sounds like nothing. But I saw people in the que saying how "The Vampire" was the scariest ride in the park and how this looked boring, then watched them almost crying on the Buccaneer.

So our first ride on it, and at its peak of high swinging Sarah shouts out "I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID TO THE VAMPIRE! THIS IS THE SCARIEST RIDE EVER!"

So after that the torture part of the day starts. a complete, total and very very annoying HOUR AND A HALF in the que for "Dragon Fury" or whatever the fuck it's called and a 45 second ride! Or so it seemed.

True it was very good - you sit in a car that spins round as it careers along a track and goes vertical at certain points. But standing in a line for that long with a load of chavs and their kids made me want to kill!

So the rest of the day, apart from lunch, was spent on "The Black Buccaneer" - 10 TIMES we went on that thing. The feeling of weightlessness and vertigo as you hit the top of each swing and stare either directly down or up vertically at the rest of the screaming boatload of riders is scary, then the falling as you and the boat, not quite touching each other, plummet back down feeling like you are going to fall to your death over the safety rail is worrying and fantastic.

But, on one of the early rides we were sat in the centre of the boat near the mast where the rows face each other. A woman of much loveliness was sat facing me, with a fine cleavage on display.

There is nothing so pleasing as sitting in the sun, being swung to the vertical and watching gravity and G-force work on a fine pair of breasts!

Ahem.

EDIT, found this on you tube, not taken by me. This gives you just a HINT of what its like, but you never get that "falling to your death" feeling from this.