"you need a bath and a hair wash"

"Noooo."

"Sarah, your hair needs washing. When did you last have a bath?"

She tells me and I go into full on amature dramatic shocked parent mode.

"You dirty little thing! You. Are. Having. A. Bath. and. Hairwash."

"Cant I just have a hair wash. I don't even want that."

"Shower?"

"Nah."

A little lightbulb comes on over my head.

"How about a Jacuzzi?"

"Awhatnow?"

"Jacuzzi - water jets swirling around you, nice aromatic bath oil making it all bubbly and nice........."

A grin spreads across her face

"yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!"

I am win.

But, she could have been holding out for a Jacuzzi all the time.

BUGGER!

I have just been manipulated by a female AGAIN!

Will I ever learn?

Leaving me, here in this house and going out leaving me with nothing but DECAF coffee!

You are an absolute bunch of rotters, Ships and Mrs F! A quick trip to the shops is in order.

Just looked on Rightmove and there is my house. There is the kitchen, bathroom, music room (looking very tidy and very devoid of guitars, comparatively anyway)

Oh god it feels odd.

But still. You too could go and have a nose around.....if you know what to look for. (Clues, east London 290,000 to 300,000 price range and up within the last three days.)

You can see the scene of the crime as it were.

Sarah is a bit sad regarding the house sale. I will try to cheer her up today. It's the only home she has ever known so its understandable I suppose.

Well that kicks off a bit of a lump of meh.

Better go wake Sarah up and get brekkie sorted.

Although seeing as you are still as far as I know, living it up in Tenerife, I should say YOU UTTER BASTARD!

We had bloody SNOW here you git!

Still, have a good one fella.