I just hit Mrs F in the heeeed with the freezer door.

No don't look at me like that! she was bending over getting something out of the fridge, which is below the freezer and I was standing behind her getting ice cubes out of the afore mentioned cold thingey....

This will never stand up in a court of law will it. And the more I try and explain, the more smutty its going to sound.

So.......how is your sunday evening going?.......been to church at all?....gardening?........relatives?.....dog walking?......

I think I should go now.

If I'm quick I may be able to catch Shipscooks cock under the toilet seat.

Oh hang on, that was out loud again wasn't it.

Eeeeeeeeeeeep!

A wine glass with the capacity of your average bucket sits to my left. It is full of Mavrodaphe - a rich, dark, sweet and potent Greek desert wine.

Tis very good stuff, and has an odd effect on you.

Found this on Wikipedia.

"Achaia Clauss (the main producer of the wine) claims that the heavenly taste of Mavrodaphne was the reason why the austere Prussian Field Marshal, von Moltke, laughed for a third time in his life right after he was offered a glass of it, the other two being when he was told that a French fortress was impregnable and when he was notified that his mother-in-law was dead."

So it makes you laugh. Makes you have weird dreams as well. It is a bit of an inhibition stripper.

Hmmm. Maybe a big bucket sized glass of it is not such a good idea.

Oh well, I take these risks so you don't have to.......

It's a dirty rotten stinking job, and all of that.