Wait till the person sitting opposite you is talking on the phone to someone important, then stick a postit note to each of your eye lids and flutter your eyelashes at them.

I read in the paper that the three teenagers who got drunk and kicked a man to death have been sentenced to life. But for some reason this means the little charmers will be up for release in about 12 years. Oh really. Right. A life of 12 years?

A lot of people have said in the media that “life should mean life” and there is much talk of how we are going to curb yobbish behaviour caused by drinking. But the truth is we English have been drinking like yobs and behaving badly, brawling in the streets and generally making inner city areas not good places to be since, erm, at least the 1700’s.

There is something wrong in our national makeup. And I don’t have a single answer or idea how to stop it. Some people say the parents should instil a better attitude towards drinking in their children, some people say drink should be banned, some call for more police in the inner city areas.

But what I think will happen is the Government will just hike the price of booze up to a level that makes it too expensive for any anti social violent types to afford. Obviously they will deduce that all the violent and anti social types are represented in the lower paid levels of society. And then put a booze scanner in the ports and airports so anyone below a certain level of affluence entering the country with cheap booze is pounced upon and goods confiscated and blows exchanged in a quiet back room for good measure.

So those of us who can actually have a drink and not attack anyone or run riot in the night will suffer as well.

Bugger, I am emigrating. Somewhere with cheap booze I think.

I am going to do my bloscars voting thingey.

You can't vote for yourself right?

Just checking.........ahem.

Last minute bribes and such are welcome.

Well sort of.

Last night I went through a bag of about 20 old t-shirts of mine that I have not worn for a while. We need to throw some stuff out and give the clothes to charity or whatever so I decided to investigate this bag.

Blimey. I was going through it going “That’s were that one got to!” and came up with a grand total of five t-shirts that could be thrown away.

Most of the ones I kept are going to be worn but I did keep a few for sentimental reasons. Like the 80’s gig and tour t-shirts I discovered, featuring the likes of Ozzy, Anthrax and Dumpys Rusty Nuts – waddya mean you never heard of them! Peasants!
Even found my old Wolfsbane T-shirt that a friend thought I had had custom made. This was because on the back it had

“HOWLING MAD SHIT HEAD!”

In glowing letters, “It’s just so you!” was his comment.

The only problem with these shirts is that the sleeves have all been cut out, one of the 80’s more drastic style choices, and therefore they are not suitable for a geezer in his mid forties to wear. But could I chuck them out…

Oh no.

Tagged by twisted English Rose, I am doing this thing here below.

a. list seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself
b. tag seven people to do the same
c. do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it"

1 – I talk to myself when I think I am alone. Like there is someone else in the room with me. It can get rather embarrassing when someone walks in on you.

2 – I hate spiders.

3 – I was convinced Dave Prowes (Darth Vader in Star Wars) was dead about five years ago. To the extent that I was sure I heard a radio announcement to that effect. I was rather surprised to read that he would be attending a Star Wars convention a year later.

4 – I once found my Dad in his shed defusing two hand grenades he had acquired during the war.

5 – I do not dress as a pirate all the time.

6 – I am actually shy. But I also notice I seek attention on occasion. (Ahem) I tend to use attack as the best form of defence and come across as outgoing and confident.

7 – My pet Labrador “Wonka” used to be able to unwrap boiled sweets by holding one end of the wrapper between his paws and pulling the other end with his teeth. OK, that is not a fact about me, erm, I found it very funny. There.

I tag.

Naughty
Jacobite
Juzzy
AJ
Subs
Row
Soy.

Happy Birthday!