By them I mean the dawdlers in the city - people who just stop at the most inconvenient place and stare around them thus GETTING IN MY FUCKING WAY!

Always in the place where the pavement is narrow due to the council trogs digging up the road and you can't walk by them, just standing there thinking "Where do I need to go now?"

I DONT CARE - GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY I ONLY GET ONE LUNCH BREAK A DAY AND I DON'T WANT TO SPEND HALF OF IT STARING AT THE BACK OF YOUR FUCKING STUPID HEAD!

In other news - Monkeys.

Oh good.

Hanging on the wall above my new desk and in my peripheral vision even now as I type, is that most hated of office decorations – The motivational poster!

The (admittedly very nice) picture is of a tiger looking out through some undergrowth. Under this in big multicoloured letters is the legend:

“CHANGE”

Under this in small type is written:

“In today’s world there are two kinds of companies….
The quick, and the dead!”

For one thing why has our dinosaur brained company got this on its wall, and secondly WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE NEXT TO ME!

I may take it down and hide it behind something soon.

Twas a good weekend if a little hard on the liver, kidneys and onions.

S&F not only had me to cater for and entertain but an extra bod in the form of Row who was taking a break after planning to take over the world.

We ate and drank and talked and had fun. Well we did, you will have to ask her if she had a good time

I invented a new game as well, - Blood pressure strip poker.

You all have your blood pressure taken with one of those machines that automatically blows the cuff up round your arm then reads it of on a digital display, person with the highest blood pressure has to strip to the waste. I found out how to cheat, as I discovered that if your grab someone by the privates while they are having their blood pressure taken it really messes up the results.

After spending the weekend sleeping on the big beanbag bed in Shipscooks study my back felt fantastic, one night back in the bed in the spare room and it felt like shit in the morning.

Anyway, must go and make the long trek downstairs for a ciggie and finish off my pretending to unpack here in the new office.

In other news, I hope everyone is OK out there.