I came home from the pub one night, in a rather "refreshed" condition. After a frenzied search of all available pockets I discovered that I had no door keys about my person.

So I opened the letter box and looked into my hallway, and saw the cat sat on the bottom of the stairs looking at me in that way only a cat can manage.

"OI CAT! open the door you little bugger"

The cat looked at me with a snear and said:

"Me? How!"

All his windows fell out...........

Ahem.

Well it does appear to be one of those nights.

"Cab for Old Nick!"

What sort of question is that!

How do I know? If I was to step out from my little shelter by the garage door to this office and get smacked on the noggin by some falling piece of heavy object and become all deaded outright, then technically all 29 ciggies on my person would be “spare”. A little blood soaked maybe but spare nether the less.

As I can’t foresee the future I have every intention of smoking all my cigarettes so I don’t know if any of them are spare or not you Muppet!

Jeez the people you meet in London………….

A zippo lighter with a fuel guage on the side.

Grrrrr!

Sucking madly on a ciggie trying to light it from the sparks of the flint is just sooooo uncool.

Gotta go buy some matches.

arse!

Well it sprung out rather quickly as they are a bit tight and I didn’t catch it in time. It’s because they’re so new I think, they need to be taken out a few times to loosen them up.

Anyway I was sitting on the sofa at S&F’s on Saturday showing Sarah my new earrings, which are the sort with the ball in the middle, which you pop out to put them through your ear. I got these because I was sick to death of those poxy small gold rings with the hinges and the catch which are just so effing fiddly to take out.

So sat there I was, and fiddling with one of them and it seemed to be rather difficult to get it to come undone. And of course when I did get the thing out it made a beeline for the depths of the sofa. Once retrieved it was the work of minutes and some more minutes of swearing and concentration my Mrs F to tug my ear all over the place before she gave up. So I went and had a go with the aid of the bathroom mirror and it popped in first go!

God this is a dull post. Better than working though.

I am sorry. I will soon eff off to lunch and read my guitar magazine leaving you all in peace.

The first full week of work of 2008 for many of us and my don't we all look happy!

Are we all pleased to be back?

What are you saying you twat. (bangs head off desktop to restore normal opperating parameters) Eeep. Better.

So another year has well and truely started. I am going to attempt to not make as many mistakes this year. ha bloody ha.

I am going to attempt to not be so stupid this year. ditto with that ha ha thing.

I was going to say something rediculous about curbing my bad habits but that would just be silly. I enjoy my bad habits thank you.

What to do today.

Try to be positive.

Try to actually do some of the mass of work mounting up.

Book rail tickets to that poxy meeting thing in Rugby. Grrrr.

Try and download the voting forms for the bloscars (which YOU should do too if you have not already)

Have a pony. Quite urgent that one. Always better when your getting paid for it though I find.

I hope you all had a good weekend and got everything you wanted and feel rested and wonderful yadda yadda yadda.