God I'm knackered.

Well at least I have a couple of healthy quiet days coming up.

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Its' my own fault. And I am only typing this to try to stay awake.

And so far its working like a adl;skhjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkaklkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Wah!

Ouch, that bloody hurt! I now have the imprint of the keyboard all over my expanding forhead!

Walked into the pub this lunchtime and found it empty.

Except for the barmaid, who had her head burried between the legs of a raindeer and was blowing for all she was worth!

"Mammy! Mammy deres someone in de baaar!" said one of the two kids watching this spectacle. Yes I know, I am shocked that poor little childers where forced to see their mother performing so in what was, up until my arrival, an empty pub - and I am shocked and sitting with the back of my right wrist pressed to my forhead much in the manner of the picture above even as I type. Which is making it a bit difficult.

So she put down the manically grinning plastic Rudolph and came round to the right side of the bar.

"Oh jazus I was so bored oi tort I'd blow de raindeer up" Said she. (she's from Brazil or something)

Why have I never got my camera with me when I need it?

But I suppose now that we have smoked this year nearly down to its filter tip, that is to be expected. People getting ready to try and find something to be doing when the clock strikes midnight on new years eave, because we all know that to be alone at that particular hour proves that you have failed again, have nothing and no-one, or that you have just been chucked out of the party for trying to cop a feel from your hosts wife.

Well, as no one is asking but I am typing, I will tell you what my plans are (as if you didn't already know - but I gotta type SOMETHING!)

I will be taking off to Edinburgh in the company of Shipscook, Mrs F and the Moff in the early hours of tomorrow and not coming back till sometime on the 3rd of January.

Blog posts may be limited during this period as Moff only has the one lap top and our fighting over it means we normally get to the drinking part of the evening about two hours later than I would like.

We are also at some point during the stay having lunch in The Witchery restaurant - the one with the OCD waiters! I will try not to wind them up with my napkin again. much.

There is going to be a viking longship burning on Carlton hill at some point and we are going to attempt to attend that, and other festivities no boubt all of which I will endeavour to photograph to aid my boring you all at some point with some blog. Well you may as well get the most from your pro account eh?

I hope you all have plans that you are actually looking forward to and not dreading?

Or “How to be bright eyed and bushy tailed in the office and a positive joy to be around”.

1 – Make sure all children are safely stapled into their beds.

2 – Make sure wife is on the sofa watching “Mrs Henderson Presents” early onset genital warts or whatever the film was.

3 – Go and sit at the pc.

4 – Crack open a bottle of bourbon.

5 – Arse around on the computer and blog till film has finished and wife has gone to bed.

6 – Have some more bourbon.

7 – Take goodly slug of bourbon into other room and watch the video of the extras xmas special and try not to cry at the sad bits.

8- Go back into music/pc room and have some more bourbon.

9 – Arse around on blog talking about pirate ships, boyfriends, underwear, relationships, blogs you wished you’d written, travel and such, while maintaining an even flow of bourbon.

10 – Look at watch and realise it is 1.45 ish in the morning.

11 – Go to bed and try not to think about the alarm going off at 5.45.

12 – Arrive at work feeling wonderful.

Ahem.