I find talking to her normally works.

Either in real life or on a blog.

Ahem.

Fucking ARGOS!

we have not even had Helloween yet and you are advertising your FUCKING CHRISTMAS CATALOGUE!

FUCK RIGHT OFF!

thank you that is all.

I know some of you are aware of this, but I hate football. Always have done. Even now when going on holiday I will try to avoid the families in the departure lounge where the dad, son and maybe eldest daughter are wearing matching football tops. Which is a hard thing to do in an English airport.

When I was at junior school I got fed up with the look of stunned incredulity on the faces of other kids when, in response to them demanding to know “Oooo ja support?” I said “No one. I don’t like football”. So I decided to choose a team to “support”

Now back in those days that there league thing only went up to Division 1. None of this confusing “premiership” and booze sponsored rubbish. So it would have to be a team from Division 1 obviously. Why pretend to support a team in the lower divisions?

Now what scientific process did I apply to select my fake team? Being about 10 or so I decided to do it on – colour of strip. Yep, well why not? I know about as much about football now as I did then so it seemed a good way to start.

So I chose Red as the colour. Which gave me a number of choices at the time. Obviously these needed to be whittled down to one and I applied the same exacting scientific approach to this problem. I chose the team with the best nickname.

The Red Devils.

So that is how I, for a few years at least became a “supporter” of Manchester United.

I took no interest in their results, I had no idea who played for them, but at least I had an answer every time someone asked me because, being a boy, I was obviously into football right?

Bollocks.

Well it was when I left the house at just before 07.00 this morning.

Well OK the street lamps were on and making the orange and red leaves look pretty as they swirled around in the wind to drop into piles against fences and cars, but the sun was not up yet.

Now I don’t get as down about getting up before the sun as some people do. I know that this time of year makes some of you want to run for a sunnier clime, not just for the heat but for the longer daylight hours.

But for some reason it does not have that affect on me. Yes true, when it is cold I will be heard saying, “Fuck me it’s freezing, I wish I was on a beach somewhere” but that is just a natural reaction to being cold. If I am out and well wrapped up I’m fine.

I don’t mind it being dark when I get up, and I don’t mind seeing the sun go down before I leave work. It’s the same world out there with all the same stuff in it, good or bad – just with less sunlight.