I have just surfaced from the murky depths of my CV, and frankly I need a shower. It's like swimming in old sewer water - the amount of bullshit management speak I have to use makes me feel sullied and vile.

Still I found the disk that held my previous cv which was not too out of date - such is the nature of working here that you end up doing CV's with disturbing regularity. I know it has taken me ages and its only half done, but I feel confident that I can finish it off tomorrow morning as its just a case now of typing in the old cobblers in the new lay out style that is now in favour.

I am not sure what good it will do but I and the other chaps and chapeses here are just doing it to show willing and prevent them form saying "Oh you obviously don't want a job here anymore as you didn't apply for the one job that will be in existance MILES away from where you live. So you are in breach of contract - goodbye!"

In other news.

Ah fuck it, what's the point.

Why is this post headed so?

I’ll tell you tomorrow.

Ha ha ha, ya see what I did there eh? God my wit is wasted on you lot.

So I have been doing the CV thing. When I say “doing” I mean I have been looking on a disk that I – in a rare stroke of foresighted genius – have had for a while with all my previous attempts at CV’s on. Now as I have been in this company since 1989 they tend to go on a bit BUT all the info is there. And they only want us to go back 10 years so that’s only a bit of crap to use.

And I have found a rare document – a “performance review” for this job from a few years ago that is FULL of bullshit phrases that this company loves. So I can recycle them and hopefully cause whoever reads the CV to die from a bullshit induced embolism.

But have I actually “put pen to paper”?

Erm, no.

But I have done all the necessary research and you can’t rush a great work of fiction now can you?

Ahem.

That is what today holds for me. With freqeunt breaks to post rubbish on here of course - all work and no blog makes Jack a dull boy. What Jack has to do with it is beyond me though. I just thought, I have never known anyone called jack - well no adults anyway. Odd.

Anyway where was I, oh yeah - In bed and happy.

Right and such, I must hunt around in my desk drawer for the disk with my last attempt at a cv on it and if that is not there I will delve into the depths of the c drive of this pc to see if I have one knocking around on here. Then as I slip below a wave of mounting panic, I will scrabble round the X drive repeating to myself

"It must be here SOMEWHERE! IT MUST BEEEEEEEE!"

So that is my day sorted.

In other news.

I wish I was psychic. I might know what was going on then.