I arrived back in the jolly old office of dull and decided, as I didn't like the look of the suit waiting for the lift, I would walk up to the fourth floor.

Not smart, as on the landing on the first floor there was a maintenance chap struggling with one end of a ladder that was being carried by an out of site work chum of his on the next landing up.

Every time they got to a landing there was a lot of "no up, not that way - round a bit" stuff disturbingly reminiscent of The Chuckle Brothers but they did manage to get round each landing. At the fourth floor our ways parted as they went on to the fith.

I dump my coat on my chair and wander across the office, out of the door to the other stairwell and go into the toilet. Coming out and opening the door to the office, who (or rather what) should I see pointing at me? Yep, that bloody ladder and the two lads that had already humped it up to the fith floor via the other stairwell!

"Fuck are you following me?"

"Oh look we caught you again, nah mate"

They then took the ladder up to the fith floor via the OTHER stairs.

Moments later as I sat at my desk, the fire alarms go off. We all rise swearing lightly and grab our coats, only for one of the ladder carriers to come through our office with what looks like a big can of hairspray in his hand saying loudly

"Its a false alarm, sorry, its' not real - it was me! Better go tell all the other floors I suppose"

Franky I have no fucking idea.

meh.

does the guy that sits next to me at work start everyday with a cup of soup that smell like fresh piss?

Well who am I to talk. I had a fish finger sandwich for breakfast. In bed.

Each to their own I suppose.

Had a strange and rough nights sleep last night. Went to bed with a headache that I couldn't shift and had some very weird dreams.

Some of the blame for these has to be laid at shipscooks door, as we sat and watched some episodes of "Family Guy" that he had taped. So the first dream that I had featured the cast of said cartoon show. Don't ask me what was going on because I can't remember.

I woke up from this one feeling rather confused and then realised that the pain in my chest was not a heart attack, but bloody Ptolly the cat trying to trick me into thinking it was morning and I should feed him.

little furry llwnt! peircing my nipples in the middle of the night is now way to get food.

The second dream I had concerned Francis Rossi and Rick Parfit from Status Quo. They were in a bar having a drink and all the people in the bar where whispering to each other and saying

"Doesn't he look like Old Nick"

I have no fucking idea what that one was about.

Then the cat bastard bit me on the elbow, so I woke up and wished him a very good morning.

Ahem.

"You'll believe a cat can fly."