That is actually getting a bit painfull.

Eh?

No sorry, I mean my left looking through orb thing. Yes I am so drunk I have forgotten how to spell Eye. Aie eyy iii eye aiiiiii! (it must be one of those)

No. No one could be that drunk shhhhhhurrrrrrly?

Anyounceofsense, What did you ask me again?

No no, sorry. Can't measure it.

Well actually can't blinkin see it right now.

So that just means it's me and.........

Ah right.

Just me.

OK.

And here is me without a billowy shirt to my name, and no windswept clifftop within easy reach. DAMMIT!

I could reeely pull a great dramatic pose right now.

ahhh well.

better go have a last ciggie and then, as I am sure your fascinated to hear - hanging on my every very carefully typed and badly spelled word that you are- I will away to my early morning bed.

possibly.

Good, erm, morning?

Ahh life, what is it all about.

Many people spend their time looking for the meaning of life.

Many of us dyslexics spend our time searching for the meaning of lief.

It gets us knowhere but the squirrels are always pleased to see us.

Eh?

Well what is it all about? I normally find its all about something you said casually in a sort of off the cuff way and is remembered four years later after too many large drinks and a quick bottle fight in the car park.

But that's being born in Dagenham for ya!

And so far tonight I have once again recieved a grand total of ZERO offers of phone sex, not that I want any.

I am not putting my phone on vibrate and poking it up my rear end and spending all day waiting for it to ring.

Again.

The last time was bad enough.

Blimey that was an embarrasing meeting at work I can tell you - "erm, excuse me while I take my trousers down, I just have to take a call"

Ahem

Anyway, what was I saying?

Oh yeah!

Life? Don't talk to me about life.