Light brown cargo type pockety trousers, high pressure water flow from taps, low mounted basin = recipie for trouser splash embarrasment!

BUGGER!

With anticipation!

Yurse my dear 0.5 of a reader, I have just remembered that Jo emailed me yesterday to say that "a small package arrived for you"

What could it be - that free sample of extra strong columbian marching powder from a shady friend?

A slightly bigger replacement for my own small package? (ahem)

A tardis envelope that actually contains a full size working version of the USS Nimitz to put in our pond?

NO, I suspect and hope with all my floppy wobbly dangly parts that it is my new replacement Pirate themed zippo lighter! (check my media for a piccie of the original one that I lost last weekend. In a fecking forest. Full of brownies. No, don't look at me like that, Jo and I were collecting Sarah from Brownie camp)

But

Yipppeeeeee!

Generally for once.

You remember that until recently I worked near Soho and have been moved to this damn depressing strip of tarmac boredom while the floor we used to be on is being refurbished right?

And I have before mentioned how much I miss the guitar shops, celebs, strip joints, nutters and general street theatre of being in that area.

Well the latest news is that the refurb is going well, there will be over 300 people on the first floor in some god awful open plan sprawl, and we get new designer (ie good for fuck all) desks.

The worst bit is - the twats are going to try that old chestnut "the clear desk policy" again!

Llwnts!

I can't do "clear desk" anything!

And when its policy it just gets my back up.

So I just leave more magazines, note pads, post it notes, old Valves (from amplifiers at home - best not to ask) and free cds' all over my desk.

It is a very childish response I know, but thats me all over.

But I still want to be back there. Even though I suspect that to go with the clear desk shite, they will start bitching about the notable lack of shirts and ties on our little team.

And that REALLY gets my back up.

in other news.

Distraction in my head continues apace. Cant focus on this rubbish today. Billowy shirt on standby.

I just returned from having a lovely Greek Marlboro outside our rain swept office.

For some reason I decided to take the stairs - we work on the forth floor. Or office has five floors

I must have had something on my mind, because I only stopped climbing when I ran out of stairs.

muppet.

As you will observe, my friends list is now at 70 instead of the more smut worthey 69.

See, I am not just a dirty minded old git.

My line manager got struck by lightning the other day. Well his house did, during one of the massive storms we had a couple of days back.

It basically fucked his phone, sky box and tv. So he called bt and got them to check the line - nothing wrong. Engineer came round to check the phone - fine. My manager takes diconnects the sky box and plugs everything back in without it and voila! it all works!

Now he did think he was on for a new telly to replace the £1400 quid led one that he thought had died, but whatever - all is well and his two teanage sons were happy again.

The very next day the two sons are playing tennis on the Wii, yep you can see this one coming cant you.

No, one of them did not let go of the controler but moved in towards the ball to return a shot - and stabbed the controler into the screen breaking the led's behind it!

So havind survived an "act of god" the tv dies through "act of offspring"

Don't know if his insurance covers that.