One more friend and I will have the magic smut number of friends

69!

I did have this number before some certain dark eyed and wonderfully nice persons FUCKED OFF!

No, no - I'm calm now.

Heeeeeeeeeeneey way.

So.

Need one more friend to get this number.

Now you can tell I am a leeeetle "with drink" as normally I would never ever beg for attention

(afuckinghem!)

But here am deee rules. (and excuse me if they piss anyone off but I am, as it were, off my manly hairy breasts)

No one under 20 - OK I know some a few of you on my freinds are under this age limit, and you are most welcome, but considering the amount of foul bollocks I spout, oh why explain - my blog my rules.

No one who does not leave a message - I have accepted friends in the past who have sent me blank invites, but that was only because I checked there profile and blog out first and thought "Well OK"

No one, who does not know who Lester Paulfus was (it's not hard - wikipedia him!)

No one who can lick their own elbows! Damn freak! (but send me a video any way, just so I can confirm your sickness)

No one who claims to look good in latex (without visual proof - OK I'm fishing here but so what.)

No camels, well I'm not being speciesist but for fucks sake I hate spitting! and dem buggers do it alot. Well they do when I'm near them. Hmmm.

No genetic mutants. If I can't kill you with basic sarcasm and bad puns and smut at full strength then, basically - I'm scared and need my teddy bear.

So,

erm

Sorry, what was I saying again?

Hic.

I don't know how to tell you all this. I am amazed I can actually bring myself to say this in a public forum and not in a very restricted friends only post.

But sometimes honesty is the best policy. Really hard, bare, brutal honesty.

It is the only way to get rid of all this, well basically seething mass of discomfort in the very centre of my being.

It has to come out now. here. and if it hurts or offends people then that is how it will be.

Afterwards, well things will be different, but how much of a change it will be will depend on the reaction of those closest to me.

But it will be, for me at least, an enormous relief.

well here goes.

Guys, friends and casual readers

I HAVE REEEEELY GOTTA GO FOR A PISS RIGHT NOW OR STAIN THE SEAT, CARPET AND PROBABLY SHORT OUT THE PC!

Thank you for your attention in this matter.

No actually, its TWO coke and whatevers, as Mrs F was not bold enough to delve into the realms of Mr S's sleepy post ice flow stagger into the drinks cabinet - which resulted in two fine and foaming Ouzo and Cokes!

Where is her spirit of adventure people!

Me, anything mixed with coke and ice is a freind of mine.

much to my regret the next day normally.

In other news, I have not tried to light a ciggie with my mobile phone in over two hours!

So yay for me and the sober party!

Or something.

Hmmm, I wonder if landers is awake and up for a phone call

MWAHahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!

Not at all am I with drink!

And how dare you sit there in your opium den and point THAT at me!

The very idea.

OK,

I will admit, that although I am totally imune to the alcohol contained in the Ouzo especials that we started the evening with, and the two glasses of chilled white wine, and the three or four glasses of Palinka (a fruit based hungarian drink of instant death) I seem to have gone a bit "silly"

Why else would I have tried to plug my zippo lighter into my phone charger and light a fag with my mobile phone.

Well, we all make mistakes!

As the doctor said climbing off Billie Piper.

ahem.