Remeber watching rental videos?

The bit on the front that said "don't you dare watch pirate copies of videos you naughty naughty poeple!"

Remeber how you could fast forward through that bit, and all the bloody logos of the production companies?

WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU DO THAT ON DVD'S!

press "next" "FFWD" "top menu" and all you get is the little sign up in the top left corner that means "no - fuck off"

bastards! give me the movie NOW!

Anyway. Off now to watch Lee Majors little brother - Gill Grissom - foil the bad guys in CSI and cop off with a younger woman.

Older men flirting and getting off with younger women! bloody disgusting if you ask me.

ahem.

G'night.

For some reason my mobile phone decided to pick up all the texts sent to me during the course of today, in one lump, at half past four!

Bastard.

So I missed a message from a blogger of this parish, telling me to tell you that she had been stuck in liverpool overnight, without a change of clothes, and without a credit card, after picking up her new passport. This was due to not being able to get a train over them there pennines mountain thingeys due to shite weather.

The Holiday inn would not let her book without a credit card, would not take her husbands credit card over the phone when he called, and finally let her pay for a room for the night in cash. Lovely helpfull people that they are.

Who said LLWNTS!

Anyway, I believe that she has now got home safe, only a day after setting out.

Sorry for my phone effing about ker-bear.

So there ya go.

Jo and I where watching the Grahame Norton show thing at the weekend. One of his guests was Alice Cooper.

Alice was talking about the fact that on his latest tour he is putting all the theatrical stuff back into the show after a period of doing stripped down straight rock shows. The hanging is back, the guilotine, that stabbing people - all the good stuff. And he mentioned that he is only doing one gig in England at wembley.

I may have made some comment to Jo about the fact that I have seen him do a full on show at wembly years ago and it was very good - especially the bit where he stuck a mike stand right through one of the people on stage! nice touch.

So anyway when I got home yesterday, Jo told me to go look at what she had printed out on the printer.

It was two tickets to see Alice Cooper, Motorhead and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts at Wembley in November!

Blimey - I'm actually going to a proper gig!

Just like the old days!

J, a woman in our office who I have mentioned before, is standing at the windows at the back of the room here on the forth floor and peering avidly out.

Why? she is looking at the builders on a site next door. Bad girl.

But as she stands very close to the window, with her frankly huge boobs almost touching the glass, chaps in the office behind ours have started to notice. You can almost read there lips.

"Christ look at those!"

"oh wow"

and so on.

Should I mention this to her?

Nah.

I was watching a film last night on Channel 4 – I know, I really know how to live huh? And once again found myself getting annoyed by one of my pet hates. Volume differences between the film and the ad breaks!

When the film was on I had to turn it up to hear the dialog clearly yet when the adverts started they were deafening! Good excuse to sit for a couple of hours playing with the remote but it does get on my nerves.

Another thing that bugs the hell out of me in films and TV shows is the volume of the incidental music. For example a couple of weeks ago the Dr was running around trying to avoid getting eaten by cannibals and get a rocket ship to launce. Lots of action and dialogue explaining what he was doing BUT it was nearly drowned out by the pounding music and FX! For Christ’s’ sake someone spent time writing this stuff to explain what is going on so why drown it out!

I remember watching the first LOTRs film on DVD and having to put subtitles on when they were talking about Gollum while sat in the mines of whatever the fuck it was called. The reverb and echo on the voices (to portray the vastness of the caves they were in) made all of it almost impossible to follow. It may have sounded OK in the cinema coming out of loads of surround speakers but it was a mess in stereo.

I think the sound guys just get carried away showing off and forget that the effects and music should not get in the way of the dialogue.

Rant over.

Go about your business and enjoy.

I have heard this more than enough over the past days in this office

"Blimey it's really raining outside!"

Where else would it fucking well be raining numbnuts!