There is a theory (called, if I remember correctly the “many worlds theory”) that states that there are many universes running parallel to “ours”. Some of these universes “are” totally alien but human, some only a fraction different to out own. They could be 99.9% the same except for one little fact.

Now.

IF they are that similar, would you notice if you passed from one to the other?

MAYBE you already have.

You know those conversations round your friends house or in the pub, “Whatever happened to so and so?”

“He/she’s dead now right?”

“Nah, bollocks – they are retired and living (wherever)”

“but I heard a report of their death on the Radio last year – I’m sure of it”

“Bollocks!”

And you argue and they tell you that the celeb in question is still alive and it is only resolved by looking up their biog on that there Internet thingy. And you see you were wrong. You did not hear that report, or see that article YOU KNOW you heard or saw.

Maybe you have just taken a little trip one universe to the left.

MANAGERS! TOTAL ****TS not my line manger who is a poor soul trapped between us and the upper manager type TWATS!

Who have decided to help us get the backlog cleared (that THEY created by taking on too much without talking to us to see if it was possible to do) they are going to make us do our jobs less efficiently to speed the process up. Never mind all the angry customer that are going to call up AND HAVE A GO AT US! NOT YOU YOU BASTARDS!

So I am taking my evil bastard MP3 player - which incidentally refused point blank to talk to the pc last night and had to be re set and re filled with music JUST BECAUSE IT KNOWS HOW ANGRY IT MAKES ME! - down the pub with a copy of Classic Rock Magazine.

So damn well there.

Hmmph.

Pidgeons with machine guns

Babies on stilts

Female Morris Dancers

Clowns in lifts

And the fact that I have opened my last packet of cheap holiday Cigarettes.

Eeeeeep