Area 136

Watching Thin Lizzy rocking out on BBC Three...

Ah the days of my youth...

EDIT

Me so drunk, they are on bbc four.

And about to finish....

ahem.

Still I have enjoyed it.

One - use the internet while you are even ever so slightly drunked.

Two - Go shopping on the internet while the above stated state is in effect.

Pray for me people.

I could end up with a ludicrously shaped lava lamp or a Russian Bride!

Well.

Life is a learning curve after all......

As some new age nutter probably said sometime somewhere...

Blame Bearcub for this, I mentioned that I had a load of fx pedals and he wanted a list – was going to do it in a pm but decided that you could all share the joy/boredom.

1 – Boss DM100 analogue delay. (Big black box from the early ‘80’s)

2 – Boss DD3 Digital delay. (Small echo pedal as seen under almost every guitarists foot at sometime)

3 – Boss Dimension C. (‘80’s Stereo Chorus pedal with four preset buttons and no fiddling with knobs! In a nice shade of lilac…)

4 – Roger Meyer Voodoo Vibe. (Black box of wobbly noises! Many dials to play with)

5 – MXR Phase 90 (An orange box of swooshing noises – essential for the Van Halen sound)

6 – MXR Micro Amp (makes things LOUDER! And that’s it. Box is the colour of well-chewed bubble gum. Yuck)

7 – Boss compressor. (Makes things go on for ages and get plinky. Think guitar solo in “Moonlight Shadow” by Mike Oldfield.)

8 – Tokai Metal Driver (overdrive now worth about £100 – it is from the very early ‘80’s and now a bit rare)

9 – Boss Turbo Overdrive (Yet another box of dirt and distortion)

10 – Marshal Drive Master (as above)

11 – Digitech “Bad Monkey” Overdrive (erm…it’s a lovely shade of green…)

12 – Electro Harmonix “Little Big Muff” (total fuzz box madness – very good for White Stripes impressions)

13 – Boss Noise Gate. (If you need your guitar to stop squealing on stage during any pauses in the song, you need one of these. Especially when using the above pedal)

14 – Elector Harmonix Micro POG. (Polyphonic octave generator. Any note you play can have a note one octave down and/or up played behind it. Works on chords so you can cheat and sound like you have a twelve string guitar…or make a huge racket!)

15 – Digitech Whammy Pedal. (A harmoniser and note shifter. I call it the super hamster pedal, as it can make your guitar sound like a hamster being forced into a blender. I have no idea why I bought this…. but it was a laugh.)

16 – Dunlop Cry baby Wah pedal.

17 Morley “Bad Horsie” Wah pedal (Unlike the one above, you just have to move the pedal and it comes on – no having to click right forward.)

18 – Boss Chromatic Tuner. Well playing in tune sort of helps sometimes…at least people can tell how bad you really are.

They are all the pedals I can remember. Which means there could be one or two more, but there you go.

Well at least Bearcub will read it all.

So technically your boredom is his fault.

Just read Rows most recent post about her book title being stolen (would do link to it but I am a nidiot with that sort of thing, just go look - do I have to do EVERYTHING round here?)

Anyway reading it I started musing what a good title for a book writen by me would be. Just a title that would say "Ah, nick wrote that"

But I got nowhere. Apart from a rather pathetic

"Well it seemed like a good idea at the time"

But I did come up with a few for other bloggers...

What would your book title be?

Oh come on, it will kill sometime on a far too hot sticky day.

Yesterday I was on the last day of the weekly four-week course thing that I have had to do.

And as you remember it was a tad hot yesterday, so imagine how comfortable it was spending the day in a room in direct sunlight with completely ineffectual air con (which only cooled a six inch area right by the out put vents just under the window)

Drowsiness soon beset me so I had to think of something to do to keep me awake and looking interested.

So did I start taking notes and scribbling an outline of my action plan for finding another role in Weird Inc?

No, I sat and made a list of every guitar effects pedal I could remember that I owned.

Now that may have done me no good career wise, but it kept me awake and made me look like I was taking an interest.

I have 18 guitar pedals by the way. Well I can only remember 18 anyway…

Finally got out of there and plunged into the boiling steamy hell of the tube system.

When I got back to the house, Jo said that the old double bed in the spare room needed to be got down stairs and put in the old music room as it was going to the dump.

Well I got the mattress down with no problems on my own, then we attempted the box spring. Even with the little rods removed between the two halves (so we could bend it in half and get it round the corners) it would not come down the bloody stairs.

Every time we tried it, it got stuck. And did I mention it was hot yesterday?

Three attempts at this and we are both wet through with perspiration.

The bloody thing went up the damn stairs so why won’t it come down!

Fucker.

Although there is a way to do it, if you happen to have three people available. But that would be too easy so tonight I am cutting through the mattress top and take it down in two bits. And we didn’t do this last night as there was a bastard long spring thing wound around the flat springs preventing us from separating it by force that took ages to get off.

Yes I am ranting. Sorry.

So probably another sweat bath for me then tonight.

You know that feeling when you have everything exactly sorted?

When you are totally on top of all the aspects of your life?

When you have financial, domestic, emotional, spiritual, career and health aspects of said existence all really humming along like a well drilled squadron of high tech fighter planes in tight formation?

Nah.

Me neither......

meh.

I wonder - as I sit here in this stuffy dull office, fully aware that some of the best weather we are likely to see all year is happening right outside – how many managers and Directors all over the country are “working from home” today.

And yet the only option open to us poor wage slave minions is to endure hellish journeys on boiling smelly tube trains, sit being slowly roasted in offices with laughable air conditioning or go sick.

Bollocks.

Click to see the full joke.

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Throwing stuff into cardboard boxes and much more stuff into black plastic bin bags to be dumped, as the low sun streams in through the curtain less window and illuminates the dust motes, is a fine way to work up a sweat.

What a great day to get hot and dusty.

I may need a shower later.

Oh I just remembered!

I must go claim some cookery books!

A divorced mans work is never done.

“Christ her arse looks great in that clowns outfit!”

I suppose I should explain.

The pub I was just in has a theatre above it and a group of young actors and actresses were in the downstairs bar running through a new scene.

I sat on the big leather sofa in the corner, popped my I-pod in and ignored them because they were rehearsing a rather un-funny comedy.

One of the girls not involved in the scene picked up a clowns outfit from a pile of stage clothes on a seat and went off behind the bar.

She came back wearing said red with yellow spots one piece thing, which was a little see through.

Due to the hot weather she was only wearing her underwear beneath it, and it was a little bit tight on her.

The first and hopefully only time I have found a clown sexually attractive….